I know that you know
The pain you're so addicted to
Is not truly an addiction
To being hurt
To being made worthless
To feeling inadequate
It's an addiction to
Consistency
To feeling routine
But I know that you know
It's unhealthy
It's harmful
It's cruel
It's mean
Go find love elsewhere
Somewhere with respect
Somewhere with happiness
Somewhere without pain
I know that you know
It will not be easy
But I also know that you know
You need to do it
Because once upon a time
I was just like you
Addicted to the consistency
Of the abuse

If he tells you
that he can't say
"I love you" -
It's probably
Because he does.

My nights are mine and mine alone
And your heartbreak soaked thoughts shouldn't have to entice a deeper feeling just because I love you
But the devil is in your heart
under every inch of your skin
Someone told you long ago that you could cut him out
But I think they meant with words and not with blades
Your memories are shallow
And I often catch myself wondering if you're just speaking of your dreams
Because my boy is flesh
He's green eyed with messy hair
Lips that wander
Your boy is only awoken after I've mentioned mine
As if it's sirens singing in your head that to be worth something you must have lust struck eyes
And a soul that knows no permanent visitor
You blame me
And I know you blame her
And we both run relay
With the wind always nipping at my ankles as she talks you down from your ledge
Moon drenched skin and the smell of smoke
It's not fair you always get to cry wolf even though I'm the one inches from its ****** teeth
It's not fair you get to love me more than he does

I crushed a flower
      in my hand.
It felt good.
It felt right.
Felt like I was
      absolutely
      in control.
Petals and stem juice
      stained my hand.
I make a wind
      and
       blow
        them
         away.
Just like a judge
      presiding
       over a trial,
I am the voice
      of justice.
A bloated bulb
      of tremendous
       distance
        begins to roll
         over to me.
Misguided hand,
you must know,
      that what
        you
         began
          will come to pass.
Morphine eyes
see shapes and
      shadows
that flicker briefly
      before
        floating away.
The hand can
try and hold
itself in power,
      but
       in
        the end
         can only
          move as required.
I am as crushed
      as the flower,
       staining
        the palm
         of my demise.