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Katie May 2019
Something is missing
It's a happy life
But I'm longing for more
I'm made for this
Why can't I have it

Smile for the ones that get it
But secretly hate them
I promise I'm trying
I've tried everything
Katie Apr 2019
Sleep is a comfort
It stops all the madness that fills my mind and ends the grueling existence I've found myself in
But, sleep does not come easy
Turning my brain off is like pulling the prey out of a lion's mouth
Thoughts dig their talons in and I can't find rest
Memories flood in like waters during a hurricane and I toss and turn
I long for that moment of complete exhaustion when the black wall goes up and things can't get in. Finally complete darkness.
Katie Feb 2019
Wake up
Take a shower
Sit in the bottom of the tub
And cry for a hour.

Dry your hair
Dry your tears
No ones home
No one hears.

Put on a smile
Put on a dress
Put on so much makeup
No one will know you're a mess.

Wash the dishes
Fold the clothes
Keep it all inside
Make sure no one knows.

Sweep the hall
Vacuum the stairs
You've got it all together
Otherwise, no one cares

Beautiful disaster
That's what you say
Sometimes you'd like to
Just run away

Keep it up
This fictional facade
Go to the grocery store
Give your sweet, happy nods

Dinner is done
Everyone's content
Your board game day is
Almost at it's end

Crawl into bed
Close your eyes,
But don't sleep
Let tomorrow's grueling task
Keep you from counting sheep

Wake up.
Katie Feb 2019
As I lay here in the dark,
My head's in another place

It's wondering to a different time,
It's wondering to your face.

To the days filled with laughter,
To days filled with tears.
To the memories we made together,
In just a few short years.
Your skin agaisnt mine sent us to outer space,
No one on Earth existed inside our special place.
Two broken people mended, maybe temporarily,
This past life bliss I'd hope to forget now weighs on me so heavily.

Sometimes, I bask, in the thought of you and me,
I think about what could have been.
Was it meant to be?

I stroke his face,
I rest my head on his chest
What would he do if he knew what's in my head.
Katie Feb 2019
Can you hear me?
I screamed this to you too many times but this time is not the same.
The difference resonates within me.
I cry louder, can you hear me?
Ripping a new, more painful hole inside myself knowing you won't answer.
These tears burn like the fire you left in my mind that I'll never find an extinguisher strong enough to put it out.
Can you hear me?
But, I know you can't because you're forever sleeping in the ground and I'm here questioning my sanity.

— The End —