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Sad,
Scared.
If I don’t have a plan —
The unknown...
Isn’t that where faith steps in?
Yes! but I’m scared.
Or alive?
Scared.
Or awake?
Stifled?
No, alive!
Feeling,
Not censoring.
Being,
Not just existing.
This is the beginning.
Allow yourself to feel.
Emotions are a gift to the soul.
Embrace "The Feels"!
I hear "the birds"
outside calling —
but at zero degrees
I am sorry!
It's like Emily's phrase:
"When [even] shadows hold their breath" --
I will enjoy you from the inside
and warming,
You look at me..... but stare right through me.
Predetermined opinions you think you know me.       But..... you don’t!

You act so well. Play your part to a T!
Hugs and kisses, you say you love me.
But..... you don’t!

Pretend to welcome, while doing everything you can to shut me out. So many lies i want to scream call them out!    But.... I don’t.

How many times have i tried? How many times have i cried? How many times do i bear the weight, while silently he hesitates??
I wish i could tell you, but.... I won’t.
In the sky, dark and vast
I hear a dim star ask:
“Why am I alone
In a place so cold—
Is this what they call galaxy?
I want a place to call home,
But that feels like fantasy.”

Is it cold? And dark?
“Yes. All day long.”

Ah! Then why don’t you shine
Through the **** cold night?
You’re dim, not gone—
Just blurred by fright
For I know there’s more stars in sight.

If you shine your light
A second will too
Then a third, and a fourth—
And it won’t just be you.

You’re a beautiful star.
Don’t be afraid, ashamed
Or distressed, of who you are.
This is the  thing I forgot, that inspired Word of air. I knew I would remember, eventually.
Romantic adventures
are not moments to treasure,
The thrill of the chase no longer moves me.

Catch and release,
fish stories of fantasy.
Always Pining the one that got away.

Trophies on a wall,
I swear I had them all,
but tell me where are they today?

The thrill of the chase no longer moves me.
Give me a hand to hold,
a love that will soothe me.

Moments made and treasured,
through passing years.

Not just memories of glories, 
that quickly fade away.
it is said i write abstract, in time to save

your feelings. you asked me to explain,

i did so lightly. the other said no one else

dare ask.



i tell you it is a full and complicated story

that may upset.





i wrote it quickly using shape,colour,

metaphor and symbol.



was loathe to read it for i may cry.

you wish a pretty picture yet i cannot

make it.



i thank you for asking, where others

do not read.



the writing circled
 Jun 21 Carlo C Gomez
Nylee
Stilling,
a word that ain't right
Stilling, I feel the stillness still in me
Just for a second
I need continuing
rhythmic breaths keeping
I am not thinking, but am I?
Am I breathing right and stilling my mind?
Go figure, I am sleepless sleeping all the time.

Slipping,
Like I had time and it is spilling
Like now how much more do I possess
Peace is slipping from the best of the hands
We were calm before, future uncertain
It's the present I don't know
It's in second break, slipping into a trance

Stopping,
My thoughts like a top, endlessly spinning
A spiral of worries, a ceaseless hum
Is this a dream, or has my reality come undone?
The world spins on, indifferent to my plight
Trapped in this moment, suspended in night
I yearn for an end, a quiet release
From this relentless turmoil, I seek inner peace.

Sinking,
Deeper into the silence, slowly shrinking
The edges of my being, blurring and faint
A whisper of self, a silent complaint
The weight of the world, a heavy embrace
Leaving no room for time, no time, no space.
Just this hollow echo, a fading sound
As I lose myself, nowhere to be found.

Surrendering,
To the quiet starking dark, no longer contending
The fight has left me, a weary sigh
Beneath the vast and indifferent sky.
This hushed acceptance, a strange new grace,
A fading pulse in this empty space.
No more struggle, just a gentle sway,
As I finally let go of this body, and drift away.
Oh, Mr Darcy,
You truly are
One of my first and longest loves.
Those dark, brooding eyes,
And sparse words did his tongue speak.
I always did hold you up as
My favourite,
But I have come to find out,
not too handsome to tempt me.
your loving touch boosts
oxytocin love hormone
magic in the air
21/6/2025
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