Between steady breaths,
I float away in peaceful sleep
although, I am not quite here
and I am not quite gone.
My slumber becomes a nightly rehearsal
for when the final curtain falls
only without strings attached,
as I flirt with oblivion
and keep my options open.
Each night I ghost the otherworld,
leaving my body wrapped in a duvet
as I run away with my dreams
and return before dawn breaks.
I have become death's friend
as I surrender to the darkness
without agreeing to forever,
as I experience my temporary death
with daily resurrection rights.
We share in the nothingness,
as my consciousness is on pause.
Tonight I'll die again,
and tomorrow I'll return.
It is the perfect arrangement
with death who waits patiently, understanding that I'm not quite ready
for anything so permanent yet.
©️Lizzie Bevis