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JasFow May 2019
For a moment there
I thought there was a chance
We could somehow meet in the middle
And find our perfect romance

With the jokes, the laughs, the smiles
You made me feel like no one other
Developing those memories
Gave me life to run all those miles

Before there was you
I never really knew
Then you opened the door
To show that there was more

I was lost, not knowing which way to turn
You taught me you don’t always need to know, to know, which way to go
And you can go both ways
JasFow May 2019
It's not a question anymore
Of whether or not you love me
If you'd bleed a drop from your eyes
Watching me cry a pain that's silent
When the showers water remains cold
You'd warm me with your fingertips
Enough to settle each goosebump
Pushing the fears I hold into a different palm
Cuts don't numb me as they once did
Bites distract for only a moment
Snaps of a band sting for 7 seconds exactly
Burning sips take me away
I forget reality, then its too late to return
Your love shadows and shades the scars
I almost felt healed and completed again
Then when you kiss him, stitches start to unravel
Feeling each tug of whatever is holding me together
Ripping harder by the movement
Each thigh grab, rub of the neck, hug from behind
The love you have for me is there, no question
Now it's different from what it once was
I used to see you as a God, controlling me every breath
You never asked for it, but managed it as if you did
That was before him
Before he showed you a different type of love
Where you didn't have to hide
We were almost perfect,
With a squint of both eyes and the lights turned off
Now I sit waiting for the sting,
as your Love for him poisons me
JasFow Apr 2019
Can. I. Ask. You. A. Question?
How. Do. You. See. Me?
What. Do. Your. Eyes. Focus. On?

smile i fake
eyes green speckled gold
brows carved to a point
lipstick smudged
teeth gapped but still showing

blue dye
black split ends
subtle ***** blonde roots

small ****, wanting to be breast
at times with no bra

tight clothes
all parts show
skin more scared of being hidden

petite shape
booming voice
a laugh that infects a crowd

Which. Part. Of. Me. Draws. You. In?
Will. You. Let. Me. Know?
Do. You. Desire. To. Be. My. Next. Sin?
JasFow Apr 2019
A single touch
All that took
Steady hands
Not meant to be
Yet a tingle inside
Erupting thoughts
Shouldn’t let it be
Starts somewhere below
Radiating to each ending
Sparking uncontrollably
Help me understand
Allow me to be
Give one last
One more
Just touch
JasFow Apr 2019
I’m not ashamed
To speak The gibberish
The foul thoughts
Mixed with the pure dreams
Censored mind crafts
Fables of my tongue
All of the words I speak
No fear slips along
I stand up too tall
Throwing words too fast
Getting in trouble more than I’d like
But I don’t stop
Shouting louder as I catch more eyes
This is the way a motion is made
JasFow Apr 2019
Is it really that bad
Resonating the thoughts
Pushed down my throat
Years of pain and darkness
Holding on to something
Just doesn’t feel right
But if I let it go
It didn’t happen, did it?
We let the demons share my bed
I held hands with the Devil herself
She made me touch
******* not allowed to leave
A board having full control
Hello for any entry.
No “God forbid”
For God was forbidden
Goodbye to exit the conversation
Tears dripping down my cheeks
Open mouthed and silent
Catching the drips, containing the screams
Light didn’t exist in that house
Now I’m in a different house
One of a person named Lord
Not too sure if it’s the right place just yet
As the people who live here also knock me down
I’m not allowed to love
For when I do, they see straight through, as I am transparent.
I won’t hide the colors I found
For the light that reflect my heart now shows every depth tone of the rainbow.
So do I turn back to the blackness that grew me.
Or do I stay in the light and fight
I’m not sure yet which ones feels right
Changing from a Satanist to a Christian
  Mar 2019 JasFow
Thorns
Oof
Life is an
Oof
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