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On the day we met.
The first time I saw you smile,
my last day of grief.
Nothing is for free
Except for the will you show,
In your loving me.
i want to be numb
to all the misery
i want to be numb
to your hypocrisy
i want to be numb
to all the pain
i want to be numb
to the falling rain
i want to be numb
to all your lies
i want to be numb
to the blue skies
i want to be numb
to the whole world
i want to be numb
to the beautiful girl
i want to be numb
to your evil ways
i want to be numb
every moment of today
i want to be numb
to my heart you threw
i want to be numb
especially to you
he
he came seeking nothing
yet found what he wasn't looking for
there was nothing he sought
but he found it anyway

when he found it
he couldn't let it be
it meant nothing to him
but he had to have it anyway

it was not his to take
it belonged to another
but he took it anyway
just because he could

once he had it
he didn't want it
he was ready to leave
but not before his last act
which was to destroy it
so that no one could have it
In my fevered mind.
I heard the cries of madmen,
felt their pain in kind.
Play it slow-
not for romance,
but because the strings are blistered,
and every note splits the sky
with fire.

Stroll through the panic,
it’s routine:
duct tape on the windows,
radio on low,
a list of missing birds
tacked to the wall
like fallen saints.

You said you'd carry me,
but the world’s gone grey,
and the olive tree
is just smoke now.

There’s no audience left.
Just wind
and its thousand-watt warning.

Still, your spine curves to the rhythm
like a fever dream from Babylon,
hips like warning sirens,
ankles sunk in ash.

I want to understand
what we ruined,
but only at a drumbeat I can hear,
only with eyes closed.

There was a time
we dressed like lovers.
Now it’s mylar blankets
and filtered masks.

We knew the promise;
we broke it anyway,
above it,
beneath it,
inside it.

Someone keeps whispering
about children,
as if hope still blooms
in poisoned soil.

Play it slow,
with bare hands if you must.
But don’t pretend this isn’t a requiem.
Don’t dress it up in velvet or vows.
Just let the music float
and burn,
like everything else.
SoCal climate: golden skies, ash in your lungs, beauty on fire.
autumn now cut
and curled away
slips asleep

the fields are afloat
in great white sheets

the trees filled
with drifts and blooms  
in the falling light

a fox
that ancient coil of flame
appears beside the dark river
contemplating codes
hidden in the snow
and the cold

what is it in life
that calls your favor?

why
after every storm

do we immediately
seek stars?
You don’t have to invent it.
You never did.

The shape,
the sound,
the word -
they already exist
somewhere between breath and shadow.

You are not the maker.
You are the listening.
The soft animal that lets it pass through
  without tightening.

If it comes,
let it.
If it leaves,
don’t chase it.

You are not here
to hold it forever.
Only to host
  its becoming.

When your hands shake,
when nothing feels certain,
that may be the exact moment
you’re finally transparent enough
  to carry something real.

Don’t fill the silence too quickly.
Don’t rush to say it right.

Let it move
  through the ribcage,
    through the spine,
      through the wrist
like wind
         learning your name.
If i could write a song
It would be about you.
It would sing your praises.
I would join in too.
I've never met anyone,
that could touch a part of me,
that lives so deep down inside.
Where no one else could see.
I'll always be grateful
And would move heaven and earth for you
I'd kiss you a million times
With passion so deep and true.
When pen doesn't reach paper.
I have nothing to say.
Peace has captivated me, and in it I will dwell.
It is like a gentle flowing river, soothing my soul.
Peace, Peace, Peace like a river.
I'm normally caught up in chaos, but today is so different,
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