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FrankieM Dec 2019
Your light radiates
So bright - That I can feel you
When I close my eyes
Just like the sun.
21
FrankieM Jan 2018
21
After weeks spent parading around, letting everybody and their mother know the day is near, we are finally here. It’s the night of your 21st birthday. 3 shots, 2 beers, and a joint or four later, and I’m feeling pretty alright.
Your mother brings out your baby book, the entirety of your childhood life simplified into pictures and momentous small enough not to cause the pages to crease, meticulously placed between two hard covers.
She flips through the album, licking her fingertips between every other page and reading aloud the entries with the most significance to her. Suddenly she stops and points to a date.
January 19, 1997. The first time you smiled.
I look over at you and you smile back at me. A smile so radiant, there’s no need to explain the significance.
FrankieM Jan 2018
Can you believe it only costs $4.17 for a 10-pack of razor blades?
Free if you pocket them.
But after paying for every mistake I own, it seems so wrong for suicide to be so free.
Forgive me.
FrankieM Apr 27
To sleep next to you
Is a dream of it’s own
FrankieM Oct 2019
Stayed up late so high on you
Adrenaline like Aderall
Laid waiting for the comedown
Still my mind isn’t at rest

Stayed up late so high on you
Nerves like narcotics
Sat alone itching for more
Still craving your presence

Stayed up late so high on you
Anxiety like acid
Been tripping over my words
Still seeing stars behind my eyes

Stayed up late so high on you
Like an addict
You left me wanting more
FrankieM Jan 1
Our world is just a sphere
See, hear, taste, touch
Breathe in the air

Though each our worlds
Have meaning in its own
Mine is my only one

I’m not here and I’m not there
It’s all such and such
But I’m self-aware

Your hand in mine swirled
Says I’m not alone
The world’s a dark place

I’d rather call you my home
FrankieM Jan 2018
I embody the bad vibe felt in a room; the heaviness on your chest. I am both the rock and the hard place.
This world is not made for me; I can do no right. My birth was an error, my death is inevitable.

I long to belong.
Maybe I'm the bad vibe.
FrankieM Jan 2018
Can't tell if it’s my vision blurring or my head is vibrating from the music I'm blurting.
I just can't hear my thoughts over the bars he spits and the bars I swallowed.

Things seem much better now that my head feels hollow.
On almost crashing my car while on Xanax.
FrankieM Mar 13
Intimacy is holding each other
Close enough to fit in a casket

Perpetual serenity
Breathing in each other’s carbon dioxide.
FrankieM Jun 2019
I keep running back again and again
“Baby I love you, but let’s just be friends.”
“I’ll go to every corner of the world, every end.”
“I can’t stand you anymore- Let’s try again.”

Make up your mind already honey, I hate this;
Fighting, kissing, acting like it’s painless.
Don’t act like you understand how much it pains me.
I loved you so much that I just let you play me.

What game in your mind are you even winning?
Burning bridges when there’s no new beginning.
When you realize all the things that you’ll be missing;
I’ll be at the top, looking down on you, grinning.

For now I’ll sit and look at the sky above,
Wondering what it could’ve been and what it even was.
What does it matter if it’s better in the long run?

The only thing I’ll truly miss are your hugs.
It’s hard without you but it’s even harder with you.
FrankieM Jun 2019
I hold you
Gently
Like a bouquet of Cherry Blossoms
Your bloom
Never fails to impress
FrankieM Jan 15
Kind careful fingers
A touch I cannot resist
Your warm lips lingered
Over my cold esophagus
FrankieM Feb 2018
Fitting into each other
Is the best part of becoming comfortable
Let’s get comfortable.
FrankieM Jan 7
You really think I’m special
But anyone can write

You’re the true poet
The way you make me feel inside
For you.
FrankieM Feb 14
I’ll keep daydreaming about your eyes
Just to feel the butterflies
Migrate from my chest to my spine

I’ll keep daydreaming about your lips
A taste I can barely resist
And my fingertips flowing down your hips

I’ll keep daydreaming about your fingers
How they seem to linger
Keeping the birds in my head singing all night
FrankieM Feb 18
You’re a bird I can’t bring myself to cage
So I’ll sing to you in the morning
And hope you don’t fly away
FrankieM Jan 2018
I wanted to start a dream journal until I realized I haven't dreamt in a while. A long while, now that I really think about it.
As gloomy as it may seem, laying in complete darkness isn't as bad as you'd think. Not when I'm next to you at least.

I haven't dreamt in a while. A long, long while, now that I really think about it.
The last time must've been a little before we started crawling into bed together, waking up tangled in each others skin. I don't mind it. Not dreaming, that is.

I spend a lot of time daydreaming these days. My anxiety takes place of the nightmares. I'm used to thinking out every possible outcome of every possible scenario. My anxiety, these nightmares, have been around for a while. As long as I can remember, now that I really think about it. I'm so tired of it crawling into my head, pealing back my skin.

I've been thinking about starting a daydream journal instead, but the nightmares are too constant. They've been around for so long that it makes laying in complete darkness every night feel okay.
FrankieM Mar 30
I
pored
over every
word dripping
off of your tongue
flowing out of your lips
I pored over every word
filling up my lungs and
s u f f o c a t i n g m e
I pored over your
every word

             so         you       you         me     was          to
               when      said      loved      I        ready   


    drown
FrankieM May 2
Cracked
from last
evening’s
altercation
When you
flung me up
Against the wall
—————————
I present myself to you
As empty and transparent
As the bottom of this bottle
|                                             |
|                                             |
\                                             |
/                                             /
|                                             \
\                                             |
/                                             |
|                                             |
\ Yet you still broke me /
FrankieM Mar 28
Your value does not depreciate
with time- rather
I thirst for
more of
you,
you
are
the
f
i
n
e
s
t
of wine
FrankieM Feb 16
He’s on his own planet
I’m content just floating in his atmosphere
FrankieM Mar 2018
Between your branches
I’ve grown too comfortably

My roots have recognized
Every gap every blemish

Becoming acclimated
To only your atmosphere

I can no longer flourish
Without you
On needing you
FrankieM Jan 2018
Sometimes I think I'm a ****** human being, until I remember the ***** who walked past me in the bathroom last week without washing her ******* hands. Or until I think about the fact that there are people in this world that forget their hot pockets in the microwave for five hours straight- Or even worse, pizza rolls.
Don't even get me started on those ******* who have the audacity to leave the comfort of their homes at 5:30 in the afternoon, when they know **** well there are 500 tired people taking the same highway to get home that they're using to pick up a jar of pickles from Walmart.

But I digress.

Sometimes I think I'm a ****** human being because, despite it being all I have; this world, everything, and everyone in it still isn't good enough for me. I step heavier just to spite the world for only giving me 360˚, mumble under my breath when I'm not simply given what I want. I'm not grateful enough for what I have.
I throw pennies in the trash instead of the wishing well because, just like my wishes, I know nobody will be able to retrieve it. When I wish I only think about myself, knowing **** well I can drive a mile in any direction and see somebody that has it much worse.

But you know what? **** that.

I have the right, as a human, to be angry when I'm breathing the same air as those ****-tards who are ****** up enough to leave their poor, helpless pizza rolls in the microwave after only three ******* minutes. Three. *******. Minutes.

Sometimes I think I’m a ****** human being, but at least I’m not that ******.
Don't forget about your pizza rolls in the microwave and we won't have a ******* problem.
FrankieM Dec 2019
No longer walking on eggshells
Now we’re running through glass
We’ll keep slicing our soles open
Just to barely get passed
Can we just like, levitate?
FrankieM Jun 2019
I can only pour so much
Of myself into you
You say I'm half empty
I say I'm half full

It's hard to stay gentle
When you've been so cruel
I say I'm in love
You say I'm a fool
FrankieM Jan 2018
I’m going home
Even though supposedly
I’ve always been

I’m sure
If you search hard enough
You’ll find me

In a memory
Camouflaged as rose pedals
A gray sky perhaps

I’m going home
And when I do I will
Be a part of your world

At last
On never truly belonging
FrankieM Feb 28
I‘m feeling homesick
But it’s not my bed I seek
Not my four walls or floorboards
I need you tangled into me
FrankieM Feb 2018
I inhale smoke through lips I've kept shut for far too long. Through the depression and anxiety, finding a reason to breathe is hard, so talking about it has never truly been an option.

Exhaling I whisper only to myself under deep, harsh breaths.Understand I cannot let you witness how I really feel inside.
Although you beg to differ, not even I am willing to put up with myself through the heavy showers and sleepless nights.

My mind is as endless as the ocean, and this isn't last time I'll question whether I should let myself sink. At the bottom you can't see my puffy eyes or tear-stained cheeks.
When all you can comprehend is darkness you'll finally understand what it's like to be stranded in the abyss of me.

But it's kind that you say you'll stick around when my hurricane hits. The sun can't guide you on days like these.
I can't help you help me when I can't help myself. I can’t comprehend why I'd need to stay afloat.

So I'll inhale smoke through lips kept locked, and exhale still in whispers. No more deeper than the ocean goes, I know the smoke can’t mask what's inside when the storm comes.

I understand why you would leave.
FrankieM Dec 2019
I will never know
Why abusers abuse

I learned the hard way
Love doesn’t use

But I found the strength
Hands and knees bruised

I left and I’m better now
Without you
I did it.
FrankieM Jan 2018
It's 3 o'clock in the morning and we're going 90 down the cold interstate.
Having just left the cafe, we sing-yell along to our music as loudly and obnoxiously as we usually do. Only briefly do we make eye-contact as you glance over at your blindspots.
Hitting a couple bumps in the pavement, you start to turn down the volume. Looking at me as the road starts to curve, you say you find the road's weaknesses to be reassuring.
I ask you what you mean by that, and you say "everything has it's imperfections"
Together we sat in silence.
A good night spent with you.
FrankieM Jan 22
Keep me around as long as you need
Make me your pet and put me down if this grows old

I never want to burden you
FrankieM May 2019
After being painted over
In black and blue

When we split in the Spring
I carried on I bloomed

No longer recognizing
Such vibrant hues

I flourished more beautifully
Without you
On no longer needing you

“Flourish” continued..
FrankieM Apr 7
Though the stars are in

            i                                                  ­       a
d                                          r        
                      s
                                 a                       r                     y

                                                 They still somehow

                                             a
                                             l
                                             i
                                             g
                                             n
                                             e
                                             d

          For you seemed to have found your way
                     to me at just the perfect time
FrankieM Jan 2018
As you sing your heart out
My heart, my mind, this car
Go 100 miles an hour

We pass semi trucks
Heavier than these feelings
I've been trying to drown out the entire night

I lay in my own passenger seat
Intoxicated
By you

And the alcohol
And these drugs
Have me feeling every ounce of you

Drip into me
It's amazing
How I could want something so bad when I already have it
LSD
FrankieM Jan 9
We dove in too deep
Without safety vests
Incapable of swimming
Fast enough to catch our breath
Also, you were a ****** person.
FrankieM Feb 21
You keep coming over
And sleeping and sleeping
Every next morning
You’re leaving you’re leaving

Our little cycle we don’t want to break
Doesn’t bother me when I’m not awake

Keep coming over
Keep sleeping keep sleeping
If you don’t wake up
Then you won’t have to leave me

You don’t have to go and I won’t ask that you stay
Just let me feel you longer- time seems to escape
FrankieM Jan 10
You are a fluorescent light
I am a moth desperate to find my way inside
FrankieM Jan 1
She danced her wrist around
With that black 8-Ball in her fist
She pondered on herself
And she shook it with a twist

Then she asked the question
“Will it be okay, yes or no?”
Quickly he responded
It Is Decidedly So
Thank you for your wisdom.
FrankieM Feb 29
In a world scary and blue
Every love song seems
To be written about you
FrankieM Feb 29
There is a mini-moon up in our sky!
A lonely asteroid caught while flying by
It was just yesterday I heard the news
A sweet surprise but he’ll be leaving soon

For we all have a purpose that’s unknown
Some even worry that their fear will show
But that’s okay, nothing is meant to last
“Forever” actually means “in the past”
FrankieM Mar 30
You are a
        steaming  
      cup of coffee
     perched
          between
                   frostbitten
           fingertips

sipped from calloused and busted up
  lips with a permanent blackish-blue hue
You are like taking that very first swig
after nights slow and restless - warmth
flowing down the esophagus to
thaw a heart frigid and askew
You accompany a cigarette
where smoke lingers in a polluted chest -You are a breath of air so soft and fresh - All I crave every morning is you
FrankieM Feb 2018
Anxiety is a destructive friend
That comes and goes
Briefly filling the void
Making you feel at home
Within yourself

Anxiety is a destructive friend
That uses your weaknesses
Against you
Ultimately dragging you
Further down
I'm trying to think of you as a friend to make more sense of why you've been around so long. I must be pretty likable.
FrankieM Mar 4
From a seed in my stomach
To a branch on my tree
Once nothing at all
Now you are my everything

I sit contently
As winter crawls into spring
Spring tumbles into summer
I’ll catch you when you fall

From birds singing in the morning
Til the crickets chirp at night
You’ll forever be my son
For without you there would be no light
FrankieM Jan 17
How about instead
of saying goodbye we say
I’ll see you next time
FrankieM Mar 30
you say
I'm            the
one            who
shut             the
door             but
YOU'RE the one who
locked it? I just didn't
want your key anymore.
There's no room left
in my pockets.
FrankieM Dec 2019
You admire peonies
And I can see why
They have that same bloom
That you have behind your eyes
You’re admirable.
FrankieM Feb 2019
Contrary to popular belief
You don’t stop loving a man after he hits you
If anything it just leads you to wonder
Why did I deserve this? What did I do wrong? This is my fault, I should’ve seen this coming.
What can I do to fix this? How could I make myself better? How can I prevent this from happening again?

Contrary to popular belief
When he says he won’t do it again, he doesn’t actually mean it.
It’ll only gets worse.
How far can I go? Why does she stay?
I have her wrapped so tight around my finger and my fingers so tight around her throat.
Why does she love me? Will she believe me when I say I love her, that I will change?

Contrary to popular belief
Things will only change for the first couple days.
He will apologize.
Why do you love me? How did I become such a **** up? I had a rough childhood, I don’t want to end up like my father. Couldn’t you see how you provoked me? What would I ever do without you? Could you please forgive me?

Contrary to popular belief
You will forgive him with a lump in your throat, this time is no different than the last.
Things will never be the same
You’ll step more lightly when he’s near, breathe more quietly. You’ll feel the same fear you felt when he first pushed you against the wall every time a door closes too hard. You’ll still lie to everybody about the bruises.

Contrary to popular belief
You can only lie to yourself for so long
You don’t really believe he’ll change, but you’re afraid of change anyways. You’ll settle. I know the real him, he didn’t mean to hurt me. His anger just gets the best of him sometimes, but it’s not his fault. He’s really sweet, I swear. He loves me.

Contrary to popular belief
He doesn’t love you
When he struck you your best interest was the least of his. He knew he did wrong.
He doesn’t understand the severity of what he’s done, nor does he care to. History repeats itself.

Contrary to your beliefs
He never loved you
A rough draft. Unfortunately I could go on. Unfortunately I’ll have to.
FrankieM Jan 2018
Although I’m sure my presence is starting to become more than a little vexatious, I still hold your hand as often as I possibly can. Partially because I find how rough your hands are compared to the rest of your body to be very pleasing, but mostly because I feel obligated.
Don’t take it the wrong way, I don’t feel obligated in the sense that I’m being forced. I just know that we humans come into and leave this world alone, and I know all that you’ve seen.
So I’ll hold your hand while we lay in bed at night, cross the road, and walk through the grocery store, readjusting my grip as our fingers start slipping.
And when I notice you start slipping and losing your grip on this world and all it has too offer, I’ll readjust whatever it is that need readjusting. I’ll hold on even tighter so you don’t have to.
Just don’t give up. I know it’s hard, and I know you know that we humans come into and leave this world alone. But when I hold your hand, I have the entire world at my fingertips.

I’ll readjust as needed.
I never want you to feel alone like I do.
FrankieM Jan 2018
You've been distant lately
I can't blame you
I know I can be overwhelming when I'm sad
I know girls don't like sad boys and
Boys don't like sad girls and
People don't like sad people

I don’t do this intentionally
I'm trying to stay content
These thoughts are overwhelming me
I know girls don't like sad boys and
Boys don't like sad girls and
People don't like sad people

I don't expect you to like me
never truly feeling okay
Sap
FrankieM Mar 6
Sap
I need to stop being such a sap
I have to leave that job to the trees
But with the high I get off your air
I can’t stop writing lame poetry

Another little chump loser stuck
With birds circling around his head
Under your richly green canopy
I‘m sure he would much rather be dead

A poet and hopeless romantic
What a “unique” horrible cliche
Recounting recounting syllables
Your sap keeps him trapped in such a daze

This sucker thinks he’s in love again
Must have fell straight from the very top
And made a home safe in your warm shade
Now the poetry just cannot stop
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