You always said I would never lose you but you lied.

Even though you’re psychically here you are not mine anymore.

Days and days go by, i sit back and watch you live your happiest live with her while,

I’m drowning.

Drowning in the thought of us, the “what’s ifs” and the “should haves”

But that’s how I got myself into this right?

What if you loved me?
Should I have held on tighter when you held my hand?
What If I am the one for you but you just can’t see it?
Should I confess my feelings and see where they take me?

No.

Because you love her and I love you.

Walk with me through the storm beloved
Walk this long winding trail
Accompany me through the tempest
Through the onslaught of rain and hail

When thunder tries to shake us apart beloved
Let’s hold each other near
With you by my side when the lightning strikes
There is nothing I have to fear

The downpour is picking up beloved
But I know we will be fine
There is no storm I cannot face
As long as your hand is in mine

We take this ride in silence.
Not a word,
Not a cough,
Not a single glance.
I wonder why we go visit your mother
When it only ever upsets you,
And I know that for the next three days
I will only hear five or six words from you.
I wonder when this became us:
Sharing everything from bathroom to bed,
Yet as close to strangers as we could be.
I wonder when you stopped smiling,
And if I thought hard could I place a date.
My mind runs back to the day
I bought you that Lewis Carroll book.
You had tears in your eyes,
As you pressed the open pages to your chest
But I had never see you smile brighter.
I wonder why we never mention your father
And why you feel you have to fight so hard
For your mother's approval.
I wonder what happened that night
When you pushed me onto the bed
And started drowning me in cigarette kisses.
But the moment I placed my hands on your frail body
You pushed me away,
"I don't need your help,
I can undress myself."
I wonder what I did
That turned you into a widow
In a bride's body.
I wonder if this Jericho between us
Will ever shatter
If we yell loud enough.
And as we take this ride in silence,
Your body turned away from me,
Staring out the window,
Your eyes slowly closing,
I wonder how much longer we will last.

You misunderstood me
While I tried to understand you
I understood the games you played on me
But you misunderstood when the game was played on you
See I tried to understand that with love comes pain
But you misunderstood my love and thought it was all a game
You couldn't understand me the way I understood you
You ain't understand the love I gave was genuinely true
So instead you left cause you were so misunderstood and too lazy to try
To understand my love for you so you drowned yourself in your lies
Saying I hated you and I never loved you
Tried to convince yourself I didn't care
You became so misunderstood of me and tried to believe I was the person you made up in your head
All along you yearned for understanding and understanding is what I gave
You convinced me that our love was understood so it didn't need to be explained
In this misunderstood state of mind with these misunderstood thoughts
I wonder if you understood my love for you
Or were you just so misunderstood that you never even gave love a thought...