I sit here in a room full of people with a big smile on my face as the people start leaving my smile goes down until I'm in my room laying and crying.

Looking through and reading poems
here on our wonderful site
I am so proud to be here with you all
Where else could it be so right.

You are all all brilliant with the written word
Each and every letter placed just so.
You put smiles on faces, bring tears to eyes
I know if I want cheering up I haven't far to go.

i am split between barely-different
desires, or rather,
equally-addictive inclinations:

you see, half of me wants nothing
but to strip away the sticky sweet
self-hatred, just say **** it
and be happy/
relive the day-after-day
same sensations, but this time
enjoy them freely, without the hesitation
usually harbored within,
fed again and again;

the other half of me wants to live
sort of slovenly: one day, purchasing
scarves and layered plaid garments,
hiding behind charcoal eye liner
and perhaps a full sleeve
of amateur ink (tree leaves changing
into full-piece stories);

half of me hates me, and the other
wants so badly to grasp hold
before I tumble full force
into the cracks out of reach from the future
created for me, by me, waiting
patiently.

Red eyes,
set so wide.
Perplexed eyes,
that can hide.
Closed eyes
and a broken smile.

Hollow laughter,
an empty voice.
Quiet speak,
a careless speech.
False assurances
with little joy.
A beating heart
and a broken smile.

*No need to be ravelled up so tight,
just let loose and undo the fright

Everybody has been hiding behind,
The walls they made to be just fine
In their eyes I see a world,
A secret to be told;a story of some kind
But once they speak out,
I can't explain how beautifully their eyes shine
Every night they sit to watch a shooting star and,
Everyone of them wishes,"I hope for a better future of mine"