To the irresitable pleasures

i want to say
You have made me feel extant, alive even.
occasionally massive
like illuminations
burning heavy full of light
quick to disintegrate
vanish.
damage all.
damage me.
my sanctuary & my perdition
my liberator and my foe
all dreams & nightmares combined in Your utterances
Your misreckoning causes destruction
wherever i go
impossible to live with.
Always & wholly worthy of my demise.