It was deafening
Threatening my very
Being
My very
Me
They made me bleed
Nothing
No hue
No you
No blue
Or red
Or pink
Or love
Anything

They said to take it
It'll help
They said to make it
Or they'll tell
I didn't try
And they don't know why
So take it
Take it
Take it..

Let it rip your ears out
Rip the drums away
Tear the plums away
No shade
Only grey
All day
Every way

Who can live this way?
No sad
No glad
Only racing
Only bad
Only something
So they're not
Mad

I was nothing
Merely a vessel
Of blood and beating
Beating to nothing
Just physical pain
No gain
No lanes
No driving
No freedom
No air in my hair
No air in my lungs

Just guns
To my soul
Guns
In my pool
Guns
Instead of drums
BANG BANG
in my head
BANG BANG
I felt dead

They tried
To take me away
They lied
And said it's okay
They smiled
As I told them it's pain

They ******* tried
They lied
And they denied
Me help
They kept me
Melting away
They kept me
Locked in a cage
They kept me
Without any ears
I couldn't hear
I couldn't
...hear

I couldn't bare
Not to hear
The drums
The reds
The hues
The lows
And the beats
The tunes
And melodies
The breeze
The bliss
I couldn't ******* stand this
I missed
So much
Beauty
Feeling it dancing in my skin
Again
I know
I'll never let them win
Never
Ever
Ever
I'll never swallow another
Gun
I'll never allow
Another
Run
Of this
Emptiness

I'm forever in love
With the multicolored noises
That keep me breathing
That keep me dancing
That keep me
Alive
Inside

The emotional drums
That fills my lungs 🫁

Talking about whose line
Offers to **** my spiders
Hey do you want a bug lol
Excuse me ??!
Jealousy from a distance
Prank texts at 2am
Eating spaghetti at the bar
Saying no and regretting it from
Afar
Chugging Two long island ice teas
Texting you I wanted to see
The smoke coming out your house
Fruit roll ups the next day
Stupid **** we would say
Crisp October
Halloween
Cinderella and a warm hoodie
Made me swoon all afternoon
Walking passed you with my head down
Why did you ignore me I deserved a hello
grey hoodie
My sister said you looked cute

I got this for you *** we're just friends
It means nothing
Pink and red valentine's day
Made my heart sway
Pink floofy hoodie
Jumping into my arms
I don't wanna care about  you
I really really like like you tho
Head on your shoulders
I like you too

Feeling hurt and alone
Texts from afar wishing my mother a safe recovery
Purple shirt as a first gift
For Christmas
I started to miss
You

Notes left on the table
Welcoming me to your home
Warm hugs
Fun piggy backs
Cuddling to Austin powers
Warmth with no covers

Making love
Without having ***
Laughing on the couch
Music playing
You kept saying
We're destined
We're meant to be
Pinky promise of eternity
Blacking out on each other

Telling everybody
I'm your girl
Kissing me on the lips
In front of them
Gave me a confused grin

Helping me buy a car
Traveling with me afar
Meeting my parents
Unprovoked
Will you be my girlfriend
The moment
The moment
The biggest moments

Taylor swift lover
My heart's been broken
Yours has been bruised
Dancing in Grandview
Dancing with you
Holding you
Falling on you
Grieving with you
These are the moments
I always knew

Surprise stuffed animals
Birthday cakes
Love messages on my windshield
Staying with me when I was stood up
Steak dinners
And pasta nights
Puking on you
What a lovely night

Driving to new York
Niagara falls
Beautiful sights of all
Bob Evans
Twix and pizza
Alligators on the ceiling
What a funny feeling
Even the most simple of memories
Peanut butter and jelly
You made for me
The most simple
Yet special
The biggest moments
Are so small
But best of all
I'll never forget
The sweetness
The cold breaths
The hot ***
I'll never forget the warmth
Of your hoodie
The first time
I'll hold it forever
I'll never forget the pounding
In my heart
With the words  to
jump start
Us

Driving in that car
Pink shirts to match
I'll always hold onto
Even if I can't recall
The words spoken
I'll still remember
The moments
The special tokens
Of us
Of us
A surplus
Of love
With fruit roll ups
💕

I'd sit up all night
Waiting
Excited
Exhilarated
For the big event

Then it would come
And go
Come and go
Ever so
Then it's gone

I'd wait for so long
Then it's gone

As a child
I couldn't wait
To be 16
Sixteen came
And went
I can barely recall
The time spent
At sixteen

As a teen
As a child
As a young adult
It comes and goes
Comes and goes
Ever so
Til it's gone
Doesn't this feel wrong

I wait so long
For memories
That were once strong
To fade along
The shore line
Til they sink
Sink down
Never found
Again

Every memory
Every moment
Goes away
Fades away
We all try to ignore it
All try to stay
Okay
Like it's normal
To live this way
These short lives
Meaningless til we
All eventually die
And all we have
All we hold
Is memories
Waiting to unfold
Then fade
Fade
Come and go
Come and go
Til they're gone
Stardust
Crumbles
To just dust
The wind carries it away
Never even a last word to say
It's just gone
Gone

Maybe that's why we have
Songs
They stick with us
They stay with our hearts
We sing to them
We never forget
The melodies
That touch us so
Even if they fade
They still find a way
To stay

They come and go
Come and go
But the melody helps us
Remember it so
Ever so

It's all I hold onto
The melodies
Of all my memories
Because they are fading
Fading ever so
It hurts me to hold
What wants to be let go
It hurts
To see my life
Keep passing by
I have no power
To slow
Slow
Slow anything down
So I turn up the sound
Of the melodies
To keep me above
Ground

It all comes and goes
Comes and goes
Til it's gone
Ever so
But the melodies
That play in tune
With your soul
They hold you
They slow you
They show you
What you are missing
What you are grasping for
That's what the songs are for

Til it's all gone
I'll hold on
To every song.