Love
is not a big enough
word
for this

You’re
in my head
Still

You
never left
though

Yet
you are never
here

I
Begin to see
Clearly

Yet
Still I
Seek

Never have I wanted someone so much
Never have I felt so alone
This is all I know right now
And it’s everything I don’t want to feel

Will I ever stop ?
Too lost in paper ,in writing
In seeing the world differently
It's so big yet so small
That it suffocates me
It suffocates me how hopeless I'm
How sometimes I do think , I'm important to this world
Like I'm not just a glimpse of it
I will pass away
Today or tomorrow
My day will come
Naturally or suicide
It will come
How stupid of me ,thinking that things I wrote on paper will change the world
While I read them alone
Holding them so tight to my chest
Like my new beloved born child
But he's like me, crying to be bought up to this world against his will .
Screaming for survival .
this is who I'm
Unfazed , shocked and sad .

I saw you in LA.
You were just as lovely as I remember.
Our week together wasn’t a lucid dream.

You brought flowers to dinner for me and Cait.
You paid for dinner.
You cuddled me through the night.

I don’t understand how you can be this nice.
What’s the catch?