Gulishta

Gulishta Dec 2019

You hide beneath the mask,
You see through the glass.
You run around in shadows,
You lurk beyond the dark.

You're saved from the desire,
You're learning the truth.
You're too vacant to hire,
Just something I went through.

Dark among the stars,
You refuse to shine.
Too bound too broken,
To protect or to hide?.

Dreamlike state,
The life passing through .
Wasting away my soul,
The world turned too blue.

You were a part of me,
Was I the part of you?
It's all lost and forgotten,
Crashing the break through.

You made me believe,
You made me hate,
You've shown me the world,
You introduced me to pain,
You are the purpose,
You are despair,
You are my sole destroyer,
Yet I still love... less than forever.

Gulishta Nov 2019

I remember. ..

Someone asked me today ...
       Do you even remember what it's like to fall in love that early in your life.?...
       "you were just a kid with out of reach dreams ...with an innocence about life that only be stolen with coming years and experience ".
       Do you even remember??

I actually don't remember. ..
     When you turn into my home?...
      When I first started noticing you?...
       When you become the core to my existence? ..
         When you stood out among the rest?
I don't remember. ..
         When or why I started craving the arguments we used to have?
          When you became the highlight of the day?
          Why I always went back to you?.
          When you became the centre of my gravity?.
I don't remember. ..

I just remember. ..
    That we used to live across the street from each other.
    That I grew up in your family as a member.
     That you were an aloof personality.
     That once I called you an arrogant with hostility.

I remember. ..
     Crying my eyes out on your shoulder. ..when the world was closing down.
I remember. ..
     Being surprised by your fierceness and the strength of your arms.
I remember. ..
     You pulling me upward and keeping me together...when my heart's about to gave out.
I remember. ..
    Losing myself but finding you in the end.
I remember. ..
    Being crazy scared about your reaction when I found the courage to confess.
I remember. ..
    Coming home when you said yes.

Ahh...when I was kid I used to think that its such a cliché when people say that they wanna go back in their lives and live childhood again..
Now I'm the walking talking prime example of that...
Some days are good ....some are bad...it fluctuate with the wavelength of the motion set inside my heart. .

#ido #remember #childhood #love

Gulishta Nov 2019

Smiled again.

Contemplating the mess
We all called life,
Sitting on a bench
Like dear old times.

Thoughts drifted back
Towards the starry night,
Where it all had began
First time you called yourself mine.

A stroll down the memory lane
Bits and pieces
Some still the same,
Fresh like it happened yesterday
When I wasn't struggling
To be sane.

The way you smiled shyly
Everytime you saw me,
The way your eyes Sparkled
With mischievous glint,
The way you got choked up
Overwhelmed with the love,
That used to flow like a current
Between us.
The intensity you used to
Watch me with.
And the goofy laugh
We used to share on my
Stupid nerdy jokes.

Flashes after flashes
Of the time spent together,
You and me...the world
Nothing else ever mattered.

Then I came back to
Myself. ..
And a heavy sigh escaped.
Still kinda weird,
But you made me smile again.

Gulishta Nov 2019

Peaceful chaos.

When the darkness of my heart,
Took over the shiny parts.
When the fog lifted,
The calmness of chaos sat in.

When I lost the dream colored glasses,
Only then I could really focus.
The Scowl behind the smile,
The wretchedness of the mind.

I saw the colours of the faces,
The colours of people's heart.
The ugliness hidden behind,
The stony glittered mask.

Lost amidst the crowd,
The family of one.
All about the blood,
Emotions mattered to no one.

A mental struggle,
Faith losing the lustre.
Concerned about the health,
Why don't you see a doctor!?.

Open eyes...
Narrowed mind.
Push and pull of acceptance,
I hope you wouldn't mind!.

Couldn't stand out,
Wouldn't be among the crowd.
The final decision made,
It was.. which no one talked about!.

I would rather have a peaceful chaos than false calm....rather chose a fight than coward way out.

#peaceful #chaos

Gulishta Nov 2019

Place of dread.

It's all blurred,
Comes in flashes and pieces.
The Mind betrayed,
But the heart changes the beating.

You look familiar,
Like the face of my truth.
It's kinda scary,
If I'm being honest.

The hope I see in your eyes,
Ease up my breathing.
Bone crushing desire,
But I'm still dreaming.

The place we met,
Is a place no one should go.
It's the world of pain,
I enjoyed it though.

To search for what is lost,
I gotta lose myself.
Don't vanish this time,
Need a little help.

Prior to the history,
Of seeking redemption.
We were once whole too,
I'm not making assumptions.

Why can't I see you,
When the world is bright?
My darkness is enough,
For you to shine the light.

No sound comes out,
You don't do the talking.
World conjured in my mind,
Again...found myself seeking.

An attempt to focus,
To survive through the night.
Back to the place of dread,
I still close my eyes.

Nov 2019

Keiri

Red and Blue

An artists life is blue
When its mind is red

A gipsies say is true
When you're already dead.

A smiley can be sad
and crying can be good

A life can be pointless
If you can't see where you stood.

A world can be square
and a line can be straight.

It's a neverending line,
because you are affraid.

Affraid of the face of blue
And the colour of red

Affraid to see you
Affraid of the dead.

Me in a neverending smiling depression. A class clown on the outside, dead on the inside, a mess in the mind, broken in my heart... but no time to feel bad, because life goes on, bills have to be paid and no one cares about how much time you need, so you pretend to be fine

#dead #becausewhynot #red #blue #sad #whenlifegivesyoulemonsthatmeansyouaresour