Hello, old Self
I know you
When the dullness of your ache
Fell away from you
Like an opened cotton curtain
Letting in the light
And your misery
Fizzled out
In the busy dizziness
Dazzling,
Blinding,
Bright...
You slipped away;
(Maybe like me
At a people-peppered party
When the echo
of my own obliging cheer
Grows hollow in my weary ears
And it comes quick and clear
You know?
—no one will really care
Who chatters, or in what chair
Exchange my face
For any stranger there
They wouldn’t know
To
Miss
Me
...)

What am I for?

You were not made
To walk
Without a wound
Your new surroundings
Puzzled you
And so you smiled
And slyly slipped
Secretly
To the side

I did not see you
For such a long long time...

Hello, old Self

Now that you arrived
With your silent ache
And the stony set
Of your flinty face,
I miss you
Backwards
For all the lost days

You were me once
I would know you
Anywhere...
Your scars
Are still the same

Come in and sit
We will be quiet
And we will hurt
Together

I am numb because I heard
That you were gone
So young, so soon
You will not know
The way I wept
Because there is
No sadness in Heaven

I picked a rose
To take home with me
No sooner did I hold
It in my hands
Than it fell to pieces
Its fragrant little petals
Floating to the ground

Snow
Falls softly
Some flakes
             Flutter
                     Right
          Some flakes
      Float
Left
Any which way
They will or wish
But always whispering
Hushhhh
And always softly

They need no words;
Some wet,
       Some light
The white
    Flurries hurry
   for     no     one;
A quiet crowd,
   like feather-down,
                               Down,
                  Down,
They become one smooth coverlet
For the shivering winter world
Shhhhhhh

You stood precariously

                      Where the land ended

Maybe imagining it was the end of the world
And the wind was calm;
And the sun glazed the lake so smooth
You were sure you could step out
And walk on it
And I watched your mind believe it; and one foot
                                              Try it--
But alas,
         it
           sank
And the clouds shone clear till you were sure
There were clouds in the water
And the sky shone blue beneath your feet
Until the watery blue sky rose around you
And it was deep

And you never thought a sky so warm with sun
                                 Could be so
                                       Cold

Down many roads
Behind me
Over many hills
And weaving, wandering ways
Through shadows and through light
Of the distant dappled past
Filled with faint whispers of
Familiar sounds and smells
And faded, sun-bleached colors
In the echoing halls
Of the castle of my childhood
When the hinges of the wooden doors
Swing singing to a slam
And shake the walls with
Their tremendous thunder
And the steps outside grow distant
And all is still
And dark
And cold

…Among the chilly labyrinths of stairs and stone
And looming darkness, and the moving shadows…

There is a room.
Light leaps and laughs
Behind the lock,
Around the door,
And floating on the dark, the eerie air,
With dazzling bejeweled wings of silver,
…there shines a voice.

It flies, it trembles and
It sighs and soars.
It beckons to my stricken heart
To follow;
Stabbing my listless soul to life
It beats its wings against the bars
And flutters up, away, and through that door
Into the light.

With every note and every chord
With every song, the Voice’s flame burned deeper
Melting in waves of tremulous heat
My icy soul
And calling me to come
To hear, to listen, and to unlock
That door.

The room became my kingdom
In this prison
My fiery home of joy
Within those haunted halls
Where my heart could leap,
My eyes could weep,
My soul be shaken with the soaring songs;
The Voice summoned me deeper, darting, ringing
Echoing through all my blood and bone
Until it changed them.

And in the strength it gave me
I stumbled to the window in the wall;
I saw there were no iron bars at all,
But an endless starry sky of hopes and dreams
A great wide world just waiting to be seen.

Since then, my feet and heart
Have traveled far
Through crowds and cities,
Fields, dusty lanes,
Through scenes and sunsets,
Never two the same;
There is a scar: an ache, a vivid memory
Still tender to the touch
That tries to turn me
Backward, time and time again,
But I cannot go and open up the castle;
For time looms, frowning, standing in my way,
My childhood buried quietly
Beneath the bony fingers of the trees
That sway and whisper in the castle’s dark
And miles and miles of sad and sunny days
Have filled the place
Between.

But if my soul had form, and solid shape,
Or if my heart could beat exposed
To show the world what sparked it to its rhythm
You would find, burnt deeply
Into every fiber
The branded image
Of two silver wings—
The symbol of the trembling Voice that sang
(With truth and power enough to break a chain)--
My shackled soul
To an eternal
Freedom.

With gentle spirit
   kindly eyes
And mortal hands
   of blood and flesh
He lifts the soul
   toward the skies
And gives the fiddle
   life and breath

A servant and
   a human tool
To translate for
   the wood and string
With coaxing, patience,
   studied rule,
He teaches fiddles
   how to sing

Wide little eyes watch from behind the door
    fat little fingers grip the wood, until the blood has fled and left them
  white with cold.
   Chill iron fingers of terror curl around the pounding little hearts and      
squeeze
      their childhood from them
   For the demons enter, breaking down the door;
     their guns drawn, blood on their hands, death in their faces.
    The blind ones rise, with effort, with confusion
   curse the lying promise of the empty bottles, laughing at them from  
     the ground
   and having played themselves to the trap, are pushed helpless to the            
  door.

   and the little eyes burn as they read the little minds their story;
    and flood the tiny trembling faces as they shout the silent truth into
        the hollow room
  that with step after echoing footstep, the beloved ones
    the blind and stumbling ones
  are herded with the crack of whips over the edge
   to a buffalo's death
         in the dark.