The eyes,
cornered me to the sides,
Such same souls but seems so distant,
Trying to fit in but I seem so different,
Putting effort to open up but there's no connection,
Ended up sitting in a different direction.
The thoughts,
Coming in against all the odds,
Overpowering my positive mind,
Leaving me with all the negative signs,
Without any explanation I can find,
I can only hide behind.
The face,
Trying to act like I'm not going through some phase,
But only aloofness ended up surfacing,
Trying to clear up the misunderstanding,
Fighting inside while you started withdrawing,
Feeling helpless inside, crying.
The guilt,
Engulfing me like a quilt,
Creating problems that weren't even there,
Causing your discomfort coming out from nowhere,
Want to show that I do care,
But I'm still trying to grasp for air.
The reality,
Is this some kind of cruelty?
To someone who is not well mentally.
Everyone faces the same thing, they say,
This is just a part of growing up, they sway,
Trust me this is just their way,
To keep their insecurities hidden away.
The sensitivity,
Every little things are magnified,
People's kind gestures became hidden motives,
Mind rotating circles like a lost detective,
Couldn't snap out of the mind's hyperactive,
I sincerely hope for one's forgive.
The loneliness,
Is the ugly truth of this sickness,
The insecurities are just hidden below,
Creeping so quietly in beneath like an evil dark crow,
We try to hide, we try to run but it just won't go.
Sometimes it's not because we don't show,
It's just because you don't know.
What scares the most is what you can't control, what you can't hide, what you can't reveal and what you can't explain. That's why, people don't know. Hence, loneliness.