Living in fear and constant humiliation
Worrying about more than cleaning and organization
The pills are becoming dull
Everything is becoming worse, people becoming more cruel

She prays and prays for the pain to go away
But with tears in her eyes, she can't help but say
" I live in a small box and no one can get in.
How can I help myself when I don't even know where to begin?"

People mock and claim to suffer
but they don't know how much it crushes her
She wants to live in a world where she can be "normal"
but instead she lives where obsessions are forceful

She will over come it, everyone agrees
She will eventually have internal peace
She will be happy, she will never cry herself to sleep again
but for now, she ends her prayers for strength with amen

One day, you realize you have to let go of what once was and walk into what might or might not ever be, it also hits you that its time to loosen the grip around the ropes you held tight for so long, that even the bruises they left on the palms of your hands couldn’t convince you to let them slip. You watch those ropes fall far into the back of your memory with bittersweet melancholy, and after some time you begin to feel yourself gracefully peeling out of your own skin. The lyrics of a song you loved a year ago flirts  with your ear while simultaneously running its knife through the strings of your heart.  The memories that you buried night after night come to life and start slow dancing before your eyes, its only then that you find yourself stricken with grief, because its only then that you admit it belongs to another time, a time that tricked you into believing it's days would never run out on you, yet one day it collects all the moments and memories you shared and  decides to give you up to another time, then graciously drifts away into the nothingness of the past, with a hope to be forgiven, but never forgotten and never lived again.

Let's make a crown out of roses
Let's have a color war and save the tshirts
Let's build a rope swing over the river
Let's build a fort out of blankets and lock ourselves in
Let's get our faces painted
Let me write your name in glitter
Let's make a cake together
Let's walk home together
Let's find each others' faces in the clouds or the night sky
Let's paint pictures of each other
Let's decorate for the holidays and wear coordinating Halloween costumes
Let's be afraid to dress up fancy
Let's get excited over tv shows and movies and comic books
Let's go roller skating together
Let's go to Comic Con and Vidcon
Let's sneak out and have caffeine after four pm
Let's sneak out and pretend that we know what the hell we're doing
Let's be together.

Anxiety, like fire,
Needs fuel,
We feed it with fear,
If only,
we can let it burn out.

Do you know about the Big Bang?
How everything was once so highly compacted
Did you know that matter can not be created or destroyed?
Every piece of you, every particle, was once something else
You were dust
Stars
Spread across the world
Think about it, how much effort went into making you
Even with the imperfections every human has
Your very being was made perfectly
Beautiful
When someone says you don't matter
If you just can't stop crying on those lonely nights
When you just feel so invisible and little
Remember
Every particle of you had to be there to make you
Your very being is timeless
You are made of matter
Just like the beautiful stars in the sky
Just like the swirling galaxy's and supernovas
You are just as important
You matter
Don't ever forget