There's a moment of orderly silence
Well calculated and planned silence
Before you allow your eyes to cross mine.
You know I'm going to look away
But you also feel my eyes following you
As you pass by without looking at me.

you sure are beautiful
I think to myself
As I bend a paper clip
Out of it's intended shape.
There's a cool calmness
And a fear of my heart imploding
In to my chest.
It's just lust

I don't mind and I'm not giving in
take the high road
The whisperers tell me
And I'm intending to
But I know my posture gives me away.
Aware of my youthful mistakes
The very same ones
You never make...

You never speak directly at me
You always address someone else
But I know that you know
That I know.
And when no one's watching
You allow your eyes to wander
Always taking a moment
To gaze in to my eyes
As to challenge me.

I rarely respond... on purpose.
And if someone ever asked me
If you had made a pass at me
I could never come up
With any solid argument
Even if I wanted to give you away.
And it's not like you started it.
It's also not that you would not have ended it...
It's just that I'm a horrible liar
And you know that.

"I'm not comfortable with eye contact"
I informed him as I looked around.
The ******-analyst, he just smiled
We'll circle back to that later...
I allowed the images to replay
Flow from my mouth
Like water falls flowing
Through the gap between my lips.

He kept his gaze on his notes
This chair is uncomfortable
Or maybe it's because he chose my seat...
Like a water dam that broke loose
In the depths of my mind
I remember the words
"If you **** yourself, I'll **** them all"
So I lived, saved lifes each night.

I made no attachment to whether they knew
They owed me nothing
Because they never knew...
So today I spoke out the past.
Not to earn up your obedience
But to make you recognize
That your temper has nothing on me.

Spill your guts and spit out your anger
My beloved sisters, but never...
Never talk down to me
I earned my bars and payed all of our dues.
I robbed you off your comfort zone
You're no longer the fittest
Does that mess with your self-esteem?

Well then you should not have
Based your self-value
On conquering cotton *****.
I'd honor your suffering
If you only had the *****
To honor mine.
Cry out your tears and take that tone
I dare you.
You're in the process of learning
To respect the hardships of others.

This is the other side of compassion.
It's called tough love.

We don't do that romantic ****,
He said ,
Because we're not lovers, just friends,
But darling, oh,
I romanticize you every day

There's a yearning in my soul. A sudden dramatic anticipation. To connect, to reflect, to know your joys and woes. Your sorrows and your hopes.
Even for a day..
A minute..
A moment..
A memory to behold!
I don't expect forever, truly forever is untold, but life has unexpectedly introduced our weary souls. Bestow to me your story. I promise I'm no judge. I am too a victim seeking nothing more than love. A piece of me I'll give you. I'll surly accept yours. To feel in life is purpose, to neglect that is absurd.  Let your heart be open, let it carry you away. The pain you've too long squandered, let's relinquish it today.