I wasn't supposed to fall in love

I promised myself before
I would never fall in love
Because I've already been heartbroken

But you walked in
Carmel skin
Dark chocolate eyes
Powder sugar soft black hair
And a sweet smile

You had a sugar sweet laugh
A voice of cotton candy; soft and light
And a touch as soft as marshmallows

You were sweet enough to give me a cavity, but I loved you

But I have lightly toasted marshmallow skin
Milk chocolate eyes
Green apple hair
And a sweet and sour smile

I have a loud laugh
A voice of pop rocks; crackley and nervous
And a touch as gentle as rock candy

I am sour with a little bit of sweet, I don't think you like me

If I could know your feelings for me I would do almost anything

But I can't know
so I'll just admire you from afar with my milk chocolate eyes and hope that they catch your dark chocolate ones attention

Gray is all I see

The gray smoke
The gray clouds
The gray hairs
The gray eyes

I used to see all the colours
Before I was broken

She used me
And abused me
And made me loose colour
She made me blind
She made me cry

I hate her
She took my colours
She took my heart
She took my virginity

I didn't ask for any of this
I half want her find this and think for just a millisecond that this is about her
The ether half doesn't want her to know she got to me

I hate it
I hate her

Life is like...

A sweet sunset
A silky breeze
And a soft sea

But the sun will fall into night
The breeze will get harsh
And the sea is not as soft as it appears

The night is dark
The wind is cold
And the sea is scary

You'll want to go home where there is light
But you are lost

You'll want to pull on a jacket
But you didn't bring one

You'll want to get out of the water
But you are drowning

You are scared
You are freezing
You are dying

Eventually you will find your way home
You will find someplace warm
And you will resurface and swim to shore

You will be safe
You will be cozy
And you will be dry

Things will get better
In time

But it can't get better
If you choose to not ask for directions home
If you choose to stay in the cold and not ask for warm help
If you choose to not to grab the hand coming from the surface

So it's best to get help
Even if it is hard
It could save you.

I live in a land of snowflakes and gold
But it seems I don't fit the mold
Since my mommy's a witch and my daddy is gay
It looks like I was supposed to be this way
But it's hard to feel different
Like you do not belong
I feel like I'm singing a different song
But I guess it's ok
There's not much heartbreak
I feel like I could eat a entire cake
But there's no one to laugh with
Or to share your good times
No shoulder to cry on
Or to spit rhymes
So it's just me
Always alone
But sometimes
This is just home.

Think of it like this:
When you are born you are given a body that you get do whatever you want with. But one of the main things is everyone wants is to feel comfortable in it. So you change it and try different things to see what you like.

When I have a good comfortable chest binder on I feel more comfortable in my body. It's simple really.

Life is an seemingly endless cycle
You get out of bed even if it takes days
You think about what you could do better but don't actually go through with it
You eat maybe a few bites of food but then throw the rest away because your not hungry
You're never hungry anymore
You can't remember the last time you had a full meal
You have trained your body to not need a lot of food
You go lay down for a little bit but you can't fall asleep
You lay there for 10 minutes
15 minutes
30 minutes
1 hour
4 hours
You go and watch YouTube on your phone
You start calming music
You try to sleep
You can't
Sleepless hours pass
It's 4 in the morning
You need to be up at 7
You try to sleep again
It's 5am
You wonder how your life has come to this
Not being able to sleep with tears streaming down your face
You didn't realize it till now but you are crying
You've been crying for almost an hour
6am
You're finally getting sleepy
6:30am
Almost asleep
6:45am
Finally you are asleep
7am
You are woken up by your mother
15 minutes of sleep
And the cycle repeats

I guess that's not everyone's life
I might just be mine

I write poetry that no one will hear pour from there lover's lips like golden honey

I write poetry that no one will read and feel an earthquake of emotion crawling down there back.

No one will save my poetry so that every time they glance at it they feel a storm emotion

No one will ever think about how the lonely poet feels when they write the spoken music for no ones ears