Will you miss me
when I'm gone?

Or will you find me still
in the brisk breeze
the pauses in biology class,
at the lunch table,
the near-empty libraries,
on the children's swings,
the tree branches,
and feel lighter as you realize that I had never left?

Or will that only make my absense heavier,
a grief impossible to escape with so many reminders.

Or will you not care,
and make a fool of me thinking that you'd miss me.

Alone I sit as my memory fades,
together we were a couple set adrift;
At first everything seemed so right,
then anger and hurt disrupted our ship.

We floated along the sea in our sailboat,
not a care in the world, nor even one regret;
As the wind blew carelessly all around,
our smiles and kisses were sweet and sound


After our trip we drank a toast to love,
a satisfied feeling from the stars above;
And when we hugged as we left the skiff,
no one could have expected an explosive rift.

In the early morning I realized he had gone,
his sudden outburst exploded as he rambled on;
I didn't know he would change his ways,
when our spirits were high and romance remained.

So long, summer friend, you fooled my heart,
bereft I sat wondering why we were swept apart;
Summer sun and ocean's waves can tantalize,
but the ending could lead to an unhappy surprise.

Up in the attic
With my paints
And my rage
I was the canvas
Filled with color

Splats of red
I needed to
How else could I symbolize you?

Blue and orange
And purple and green
All trying you make sense of me

Little hints of yellow
For even then
When I could forget
I could experience momentary joy

I was that canvas
Because yes,
My head is overwhelming
And crazy
And angry
But it can also be beautiful

I was that canvas,
Abstract
And messy
Which some say isn't even art
And some say is wonderful

I was was that canvas

But wait
...
Wasn't I also the painter?

Do you want to take a walk?

Yes?
Take a walk.

No?
Take a walk.

The voices in my head, please go a.w.a.y
The voices in my head, please give back my brain
The voices in my head, find someone else to feed your h.a.t.e
The voices in my head, please let me be m.y.s.e.l.f

You are jealous, that's not o.k.a.y
You are lazy, yet always you c.o.m.p.l.a.i.n
You act victim, yet you are first one to draw the b.l.a.d.e
You eat my brain, yet you act you keep me safe

The voices in my head, you are the one I t.r.u.l.y hate
The voices in my head,Go to e.t.e.r.n.a.l hell
The voices in my head, you are a c.o.w.a.r.d, hiding in my brain
The voices in my head, I wish to see you d.e.a.d