Elliot

Elliot Jul 2018

It's an inseprable bond
Not a simple relation
No, it goes beyond
It starts with a strong foundation
A brunette and a blonde

#friendship #friends

Elliot Jul 2018

Life

We are the authors of our own lives.
We decide which people's stories we start reading.
And one day we meet the book we've been looking for all along.

#life #book #story

Elliot Jul 2018

Please **** me.

Please **** me.

I've been suicidal since the day I was twelve
Can't seem to escape the voices
There's no place for me here

Please **** me.

This is as good as it gets
And it's bad
So bad

Please **** me.

Guess I'm used to it all
I think it's normal
That anyone could live my life

Please **** me.

I'm too cowardly
I won't do it myself
But I wouldn't mind you doing it

Please **** me.

I am sorry
It was never my intention to hurt you
I just can't take it anymore

Please **** me.

This sounds like a suicide note
It isn't
It's a wish

Please **** me.

I am sorry

Please **** me.

#mental #illness #schizophrenia #suicide #please #**** #me

Elliot Jul 2018

Parasite

For a while I didn't notice you
Slowly strange thoughts started invading my head
At first I ignored you
But you started eating at my brain
And little by little the thoughts
You were feeding me took over
I begged you to stop
But you wouldn't listen
You just grew bigger and bigger
Making me weaker and weaker
I have fought you for years
And all I've achieved is fatigue

I wasn't raised a murderer
But thanks to you I might become one

#mental #illness #schizophrenia #suicide #thoughts

Elliot Jul 2018

...

should I quote
the suicide note
that I wrote
or is you seeing me enough?

#mental #illness #suicide

Elliot Jul 2018

Voices, I miss you

I miss the voices inside my head
they all seem to be dead
you were always there
and it wasn't fair
at first you scared me
knocked me on my knees
then I learned to ignore
stop waging a war
we became one
and a new era begun

I heard voices for well over 3 years and now with my new medication they're gone I became so used to them that now in an odd way I miss them sometimes

#mental #illness #health #schizophrenia #psychosis #voices #me

Elliot Jul 2018

What's it like having schizophrenia?

It’s hell.
You’re living in hell.
Every day your hallucinations and delusions carry you futher and futher away from reality till one day you’re totally engulfed by them.
You watch yourself fall deeper and deeper and then you crash.
And it’s like you’ve never existed, nothing has ever existed.
You’ve become this empty vessel controlled by your demons.

#mental #illness #schizophrenia