You're making me suffocate.
I look at you and it feels like you're taking all the air from my lungs.
I get nervous thinking about you.
I release a sigh of relief once you are gone.
I feel free from you.
You always come back or wait for me to come back to you.
We wait for each other to be able to breathe around each other.
We never are.

I decided to call you, after 3 months.
The time was short but long.
I remembered how it felt to be around you again, so comforting and warm.
We spoke about how everything is now for us, one of the first things you said to me was, "Maybe it would have been better if we just stayed friends and 'us' never happened."
I thought the same; that maybe if I never told you how I genuinely felt about you, maybe we could've been together as friends, longer.
Although I felt differently, I felt my heart hurt, I felt as if you were saying that to cover up the fact you never felt the same.
with hesitation I looked up at you and replied, "Yeah, you're right. I still love you, as a friend."
I'm glad we're friends again, but too bad I'm lying to you again.

I am stuck.
I want to tell you everything, but I can't.
I fear that you are doing so well without me and I'm happy if that's so.
I think to myself what if he doesn't miss me?
I want my friend back.
I want our unquestionable love and care for one another back.
Please come back.

How is that, when you're gone, I still have you constantly in my mind?
You're dearest thing I held to my heart.
I miss you chuckling softly, whispering that it's okay, as I cried in your arms and apologized for doing so.
Sometimes I forget your voice,
but when I cry, it's the first thing in my mind.

From the bottom of my heart,
I miss you.
From the bottom of my heart,
I miss us.
From the bottom of my heart,
I miss the smiles.
From the bottom of my heart,
I miss our laughs.
From the bottom of my heart,
I miss your love.
From the bottom of my heart,
I will always love you.
...
I Have Always Loved You.

All I ever known was how to be safe, to be careful.
The day I stopped being so safe was when I told you, "Promise to never hurt me."
I risked myself to put all my trust in you.
I was a fool for not being careful this time.
Even now I wish I could go back; to tell you that I didn't love you and that I never would.
I wished I lied to you, so that you'd still be here to love me as a friend.

- from the girl whose heart you broke; who still loves you.