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 Apr 2016 Eiliv Advena
Just Me R
When the first tear falls, we die
When it dries
We live.
How long I have been in the dark....

A fate less holy,
A mission undefined,
Heart that cries,
Tears that bleed,
The abysmally charged traveller
That I have become walking
Until tendons fade away,
So my knees have scraped
The fugitive hope of the ravine.

        The space of loneliness
        Between these shoulders
        And the tunnelling that
        Devours the necessity to seek
        Out a hope,
        Something to fight for.

Saving grace within the dark,
Because dark is not dark
Without the light to show
Its depths,
its attachments to the misery,
This Earth, home of humanity
Trampled by the inner search,
The strength of hope is the light
Of the world.

Oh but the ravine does not falter,
Its crescent flow like a carving
Knife to cut away any luminous
Idea, the idea that cannot die,
And we are all formed in the light
As we leap into the abyss
In a battle for the sanctum of the soul.

     Where is the philosophy?
     The ideal that love can conquer
     Love, faith of the child
     In the blind advent?
     From the origins of water,
     Many drown in the depressing
     Motion of the blind lights that
     Surround them.

Hope is not sterile,
The idea cannot die,
Familiar to the dark,
Because we overcome,
The obliterated redemption
Is but the whole of the world
Saying you cannot.
Confronting the sea as a rock
To the crashing waves,
Bewildered by marches on the darkness,
Battered and bruised,
At the edge of death,
Purpose is here as we open the light
And reveal the eyes we always had.

     Deep, deep into the dark,
     We have been thrown as swift
     Grenades of light, the explosion sudden,
      The sight revealingly hopeful.

And God is watching the children
He made from dust to confront
Ourselves in a battle of reflection,
Every mirror needs the light
To see the truth of themselves,
Here the nocturnal night
Fights for every soul,
Dancing at the depression,
The sadness of menacingly
Prideful elitism.

    Sweat, these deep meanings,
    Who wants to think on them?
    Ignorance, blissful warrior
     Of the dark,
      Death to the fire inside
      That fashions the sleep or hope,
      The individual loses that which makes
     Them, and here in lies the ravine
     And its war.

Outcast, fighter of the dark,
Depressed warrior,
there is a form of light
In the confusing shadows,
Away from that voicelessness
That does speak,
Shed the ancestral burden,
Leaping from one horror
To the next horror,
Reveal that which is hope,
When you from before when God
Molded you as a form of light,
And though you may think
That you are just a flash,
Remember that every star twinkled
Its light before the last gasp.

Come out and reveal
The fire that yearns,
Feed the hope as a fire
That swells, a fire that burns.
You are the instruments of new
Beginnings, that which
Was rejected, that which was cast
Away like falling winds,
Winds that bkew you to another day,
We pass daily from the darkness,
As if from sleep,
We battle now in the void.

And though we are small
In the vast darkness,
We shine as cosmically gifted
Luminaries, shining as
Fragments in the night,
Eternal hope, a form of light.
Ocean crash queen
There is a dance on the sand
Bonfire jewelry
 Feb 2016 Eiliv Advena
Julia Mae
35.
 Feb 2016 Eiliv Advena
Julia Mae
35.
because it was your skin and the scent upon it
and the warmth i felt as i embraced your back
and the way my head seemed to fit
perfectly underneath your chin and upon your chest
and feeling you tightly grasp
the back of my head
as you hungered for more than a kiss
the way i think "security" must feel
but you brought me home that night a couple hours later
i'm not getting attached, i promised to myself i know just what this is
i don't think i can play around like this
because i am too emotional and you are too emotionless
and we don't fit
it was just our bodies, the way they moved and pressed
i just can't help but wish i wish it could be more than that
friends with "benefits"
 Feb 2016 Eiliv Advena
mb
Hot Durban nights.
Naked in the pool.
The Blue Waters.
Ebbing.

Next door, my grandfather tried to hold on to. His wife. Thirsty for oxygen. As I slide off the tilting roof, holding its water as it cast me off.
Into the nearby sea.
You muffled my coughs. The taste of Vicks still won't leave my mouth. But it's one of my fondest memories.

(By the bar where the Rwandan directors smoked dope.
Late night discussions the foolish call art.)

You, me and &*^%.
Your tattoos and little *******.
I thought were perfect.
Modelled after martinis we'd never drink.

(My broken phone kept calling Kote.
Kote panicked with this unknown.
Suspicious of coups.)

The hand cloth towel slipped off your body.
The pool water dripping onto the sheets.

(Our saviour in the township on that night we tempted fate, re-enacting rapes, the terrifying 12 left us, and her girlfriend tried to kiss me, alone in the car)

You walked into my hotel room.
Fourth floor.
You took the bible from the draw.
Fourth floor.
You threw it with a flick.
Fourth floor.
Then you ****** my
Fourth floor
And I fell
Fourth floor




asleep.
Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeoning of chance
My head is ******, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate,
I am the captain of my soul.


በጨለማ ውስጥ

ከጥግጥግ ከከበበኝ
ድቅድቅ ጨለማ
ለማይበገረው መንፈሴ
ለአምላክ ያለህ የምስጋና ዜማ
ነኝ የማሰማ፣
ሑኔታዎች ቢያሸርቡም
ተሰቅቄ አልጮህኩም፣
የፈለገውን እኩይ ጣጣ
ራስ ላይ የሚወጣ
ቢሆንም እጣ
ይዞ የሚመጣ
ብናድድም ግና አቀርቅሬ
ወይ ተመርሬ ኣላውቅም!
ከዚያ የንዴትና የእንባ
ባድማ ባሻገር
ይታየኛል የመከራ ጥላ
የወረረው መንደር!
አንድ ወቅት ለሌላ
ከነግሳንግሱ
ቢሆንም የሚለቅ ተራ፣
ዘመን ያገኘኛል
ከአይበገሬዎች ጎራ
ሆኜ መጻኢ እጣዬን የማልፈራ!
መሃንዲሰ ነኝ
እጣዬን የምቀይር ቀጥቅጬ፣
የነፍሴን መርከብ
መሪ ጨብጬ!
(ዊሊያም እርነሰት ሔንሊይ) //
Yes we must no give hand to despair come what may!
 Feb 2016 Eiliv Advena
chris
people don't understand depression, anxiety, and every other mental health disorder because you can't physically see that something's wrong
 Feb 2016 Eiliv Advena
chris
xplct
 Feb 2016 Eiliv Advena
chris
be nice to people because the world is a ****** place and we all need a little help sometimes.
 Feb 2016 Eiliv Advena
chris
being happy shouldn’t be this hard
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