Waves are breaking down my walls,
But this time im not afraid
The water is warm
Instead of cold
Im ready to learn
How to swim
In the midst of chaos
To survive every storm
That drowns the halls

As you float away,
Leaving years of your life behind,
Will you ever stop to think what it would be like
If that specific decision wasn't made?

As you take your final breath,
And look around the room,
Will you wonder about what else could happen to you?
About the life you could have had without him.

As you close your eyes
For one last time,
Will you forgive your child,
For trying to save you?
Or will you still love him after death?

Has your voice fallen silent,
Or is it my ears that no longer hear?
Did your words fade away,
Or is it my eyes that went blind?
Did the paper burn,
Or does my hand no longer know how to write?

Tell me,
Do these stupid words answer the question,
I yet have to look for?
The question,
I've been so afraid to ask,
Let alone find.

Is it my fault,
That you no longer exist in my world,
Or did the universe see you as a mistake on its own?
Is it my fault,
That i simply cannot hate you?

So i closed my eyes,
Hoping to blur the image,
Yet it stayed untouched.
Why must my own brain betray me?
Or it it me that can't seem to let go?

A nonexistent construct
Believed by many,
And broken by few.