You don't get to hurt me and then judge the way I respond.

her body
life-
less.
frail & cold.
i love-
d her.
i let her go.
i regret

all the moments
i did not hold her close.
it is
too...
late, now.

she belongs to the earth.

*maybe she was never mine.
i did not try;
hard enough.

Thinking of your arm around another girls green velvet
Makes my ribs shake, makes my neck break
You can smash skulls from across the state
And I can cry into Joannas guitar

Thinking of you will only ever trigger reckless visions of my fist through dry wall or blood dripping from my lip
Everything is absinthe's hallucination
Reeling through my speakers
Everything was then it wasn't

You can brush ****** hair in your hometown
And I will never get over you
Kissing me every six months will leave my hands shaking - return to the bathroom floor
Waiting for you to come back

All our thoughts of kissing girls have been written off as weird honey

The pressure’s building up
I feel like soda that’s been dropped.
I feel like I’m about to explode
And I know that soon I’ll pop.

I know what’s about to happen
And I need to escape this room.
Where I go, I don’t know.
But I need to flee the impending doom.

I need to get to the clinic.
There I know I’ll be fine.
They always knows what to do;
But can I make it in time?

But no, it’s too late.
My soda bottle has blown.
I am no longer able to move, for
The seed of anxiety has grown.

Now I’ve collapsed, and
My rational side has died.
I can’t handle this-make it stop!
My strength is again being tried.

All the techniques I’ve memorized
Have completely flown my mind.
All the things I have prepared
Are suddenly unable to find.

“Don’t forget to just breathe!”
Ah, yes, the mantra of those “helpful” ones.
Well, here’s a newsflash for you-
Being told that helps NONE!

My lungs are overworking now,
And my heart is beating fast.
And every single breath I take
I fear it might be my last.

My hands have spiders in them.
My brain has gone offline.
My vision’s getting foggy;
Please- just don’t pass out this time.

My mind is leaving my body
And it’s floating freely in air.
I’m no longer able to feel anything
Please help me; I’m so scared.

Now I’m descending back to my body
And I can feel every atom around me.
It’s too much-make it stop!
Why can’t anybody hear my plea?

Luckily I calm down
Before my monster gets his way.
He’s returning back to hiding now
But I know he’ll soon come back to play.