Let me be unspoken
In your world, an absence
In each phrase
That you may share.

Let me be the least
That you can think of
With each breath, and
With each breath, see
That you are free
Like I always wanted.

And I always wanted love,
And truth, to have
But to never hold,

For you are never mine,
But I love you,
And in loving me so—
     We are one.*

© 2015 J.S.P.

I know how Kevin McCalister felt
When he realized he was alone
No family or friends by his side
My heart is crying inside

The memories of eating a big dinner
The food coma waiting to come
Football, laughter, and pumkin pie
After the turkeys all gone

My dad, mom, brother
Sister, her hub and my baby neice
Around around the table smiling
And 2500 miles away the though of that, I'm dying

No love to share the day with
My friends are at home with their fam
Maybe next year I will partake in a *****
Instead of chinese food from Sam's

So with Netflix and take out
Sweatpants and slippers I lay
I hope the next year I'll be happy and able to enjoy this day

the disease spread over night
people were coughing, but they still smiled
people still saw light, they saw faith
and it makes me feel weak
i feel weak because i don't have that
i don't have light in me
i can't fight anymore
and the fact that they're at their last breath and still glowing in happiness
shows me that i can still go on

i thought we had a dream to be together forever,
i guess that was a lie.
you said, "i'll never love another."
so who was that you were with in the schools bathroom stall?
don't tell me this just to do the opposite.
i need the truth, and if i can't get it from you then i don't want it at all.
we, we were suppose to be together forever.
our life use to seem worth living, and now that you're not in it..
i'm hopeless, scared, alone, angry, because you're not here.
YOU TOLD YOU'D BE HERE FOREVER
you left me in this debt all by myself.
this debt of love, happiness, anger, and depression.
i have to deal with it ALL by myself.
and you don't care.
you just laugh with your new girlfriend in my ******* face and pretend that you didn't hurt me.
guess what?
i'll do the same.
i'll be better of without you,
and i'll smile.
a real smile.
the smiles you give to a person you love.
and then. only then,
will you feel like an *** for everything you've done.