Did I do something wrong?
Did I say something wrong?
I just showed a flower the sun and gave it enough water to bloom.
But now the flower seems to be wilting.
Was it me?
Or was it just the flower that received too much sunlight and water?
I may not have the expertise of a florist.
But I still love the flower as much as one would.
Even if it loses all its green and all its rich colors
It will still be beautiful to me.

Bright sun is shining
View from above warm eyes
Yet I still feel cold

Beautiful muse
What I do to you
Permissionlessly
I bend you and shape you
To the will of me
According to who
I imagine you’d be
I wonder what you think
Of what I think I see
Maybe someday
You will tell me

I could not find ballads or books
that spoke of the feeling of losing a friend
its not like a tsunami
that crashes into you all at once  
No
its slow like cancer
the kind that doesn't appear for months, years
it’s a stab of pain here and a headache there but manageable
then suddenly it strikes and sinks its teeth deep into you
coils like a snake wrapping around your heart
inside your ribcage
poison seeping into your veins
turning blood to fire
and all you can do is wait.