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 Sep 2015 Coop Lee
Melinda Éva
It’s these memories that haunt us
remind, confine, and shape us
Love, faith, betrayal, and death
are all elements that have dug
a permanent grave in our
cognitive cemeteries,
six feet deep in those feelings
of despair and regret

And those memories make
their presence known,
clawing at the top of the coffin,
trying to escape the grips of
earth that surrounds
their holding place

And no matter how high
of a mound we pile on top of it,
rain and wind slowly withers away
our efforts of concealing
those demons of ours

Their pathetic cries
seep through the cracks,
reminding us
of our broken pasts.

But we must take this
as an opportunity of growth,
because the more we suppress
those pestering cries
that try to make us
retrace our steps
to that grave sight we swore
we would never visit again,
the easier it will be
to shed light on those
living things that give
us purpose in life
The past haunts if you let it
 Sep 2015 Coop Lee
Melinda Éva
Everything was fresh and new
in the beginning for both me and you
Our stories untold waiting to escape our lips
only scratching the surface, exposing the tip
of the glacier we call our whole being,
the rest hidden under black waters waiting to be seen
Our journey to the abyss has been dark and cold
Can we last one more minute without any hold
to the ground as we dive into the unknown,
searching for things that have not been shown?
Will you stay here with me underneath it all
to wait for something luminous to fall?
So many questions
 Sep 2015 Coop Lee
E B
-
 Sep 2015 Coop Lee
E B
-
the train in the distance moans like a lion
searching for its baby cub

and every night I hear this moan
as I lay, sinking slowly into the couch,
wishing for something to take me away

I wonder what happened
why all is lost
why the feelings in my gut are bewildered and tossled

something is different
something's not right

and just like the train
I do this every night
 Sep 2015 Coop Lee
E B
I remember when i found out
my heart had left my body and my hands were trembling

I remember when you were my best friend and we were inseparable

I remember making forts together with the basement cushions

I remember dancing through the days with the top hits of 2002

I remember when you started staying out all night and sneaking in 

I remember when you changed your friends

I remember when your eyes didn’t look the same

I remember when you showed me a green plant

I remember when you showed me a small pill
I remember when I took drugs with you
and we danced through the day just like old times

I remember when you were dragged down the hallway by your hair
and all I could see was your feet flailing
and all i could hear was your piercing screams

I don’t remember you for fourteen months

until you came back for thanksgiving

I remember your eyes didn’t look the same

I remember your voice was different 

I remember your legs looked like small branches
and your cheeks were sunken in

I don’t remember you for two months

I remember when you went away
and you said you were going to get better

I remember before you left
we laid in my bed
and you showed me your scars
and told me your stories

I remember you looked me in the eyes and told me everything was going to be okay

I remember you crying through the nights
taking endless cold water baths
and throwing up until the sun came up

I remember the day you left and all you wanted to do was smoke one last cigarette

I don’t remember you for three weeks


I remember you when you came back
I remember you gained weight

I remember you looked healthy

I remember you glowing with beauty

I remember my mom finding a spoon in the drawer of the bed side table
with burnt cotton

I remember her telling me not to come home because she didn’t want me to be there when she told you to leave

I remember you called me and you cried
and you said sorry to me

I don’t remember you for eighteen months

until you called your dad three days before my birthday
and said you used his insurance for rehab and you needed money for your prescription

I don’t remember you for two months

I remember you at thanksgiving but your mind wasn’t there 
just your body

I’m sure I won’t remember you for another seven months.
Addiction is a strange thing.
It’s been a whirlwind of days. I’m writing after being inspired again by a Gonzo documentary. This revolutionary style is the contribution of journalist within the story journalism. Which is magic. Sticky, delicious connectedness. Because to write a good story, you have to be an interesting writer. And an interesting writer must be an interesting person with interesting experiences and thoughts. Lame people write lame stories and great people write great stories. It’s just that if your lame you’ll like the lame story and think it’s great. No classifications are really necessary, you drooling evolutionary creature. As your spirit sings to the addition of added information to your consciousness. So, gonzo journalism- now you suddenly added a wildly interesting character to your story. Yourself. It’s a fool proof plan. Because each one of us know that we are the best. But how far would the individual go for their own story? It's an every day test. And yet, how authentic can you continue to be. Not to say that Hunter Thompson didn’t fabricate stories. But he matched a level of absurdity that by logic made the truth and fabrication indecipherable. A terrible, carnival maestro puppeteer planting questions in place for the reader to suddenly wonder about the writer, did that really happen? We could never be sure. Because even if the writer confirms in person of the account, we can still never be sure because we do not have the concrete ability to tell what that specific experience was. We cannot tell because in this world there are truths and lies and it doesn’t ******* matter any way because it’s all the same. It’s all a creation. It’s all one, whole thing chillin together in a small plot of city grass hidden by a paint peeling fence in a sunburst alley in some stinking city. While we separate our books into categories- what is real section, what is not real section, this section, that section, and other stuff. Mostly because we always want to know what we are in for. Because if we know what we are in for, then we get something. knowing. Like a lousy christmas gift. Which has no practical application. It’s an acorn swimming in a sea of acorns and walnuts and the squirrel god just likes eating nuts in general. He doesn’t give a ****. To be frank, he’d actually like if there was an even bigger variety of nuts.

In the process, should a writer ever really delete and edit what they say while they are writing? You said something and suddenly you don’t want to say it anymore- delete. A cohesive piece to your **** storm brain’s thought process, gone. Will the reader understand you less or more now? Does that really even matter. Does the reader matter? More than anything. The readers hold all of the knowledge. They seek out and absorb information from their personally groomed selections as predictable as a trophy wife in a tennis skirt. Words, like toothpaste oozing from a toothpaste tube, will not go back in. Unless you have the technology to put in back in, to prove a grueling point to a close friend that you have to win the argument over. This is the 21st century for crying out loud you ******* idiot. We can do whatever we want.

So this is all frank language. Because brilliant men, are mad. And brilliant women, are beautiful. And it comes off matter of fact when in another universe I am writing the antithesis to every word delivered to this page. Like my evil twin. The dark matter to my matter. While I’m the one on Earth writing the coupe de grais of bathroom poetry. Words- the trying, conniving, carefully plotted seeds of rash giving plants. Affecting everything they touch, spreading thought and emotion feverishly, plaguing us nationally, while they remain the same. Genderless lines, basic shapes, swirling into a vortex of time when you could not yet read but still saw words. We keep words around, always around, kept close within reach, always in eye sight. Just look around.
 Aug 2015 Coop Lee
Sirena
You suck
 Aug 2015 Coop Lee
Sirena
Just like my throat my eyes feel red
Just like you my heart is cold
You talk but you don't listen
You do but you don't finish
Sometimes, I wonder
And sometimes I wish
Do you enjoy it?
What do you get from hurting my feelings?
Over and over I ask myself
How could my mother break my heart more than any lover?
How could the woman that I am to depend on for comfort, love, and stability make feel so lost in this world?
I used to wish for a better me
Maybe if I was funnier, maybe if I wasn't so sensitive
Maybe
But I'm not the problem never have been, it's you
And I want to thank you
For never letting your arms be warm with love for me
For never knowing what words to say without making me hate my life
For never having my back
For never allowing me to look up to you
For leaving me no other choice than to stand for myself, than to hug myself,  than to give myself love, and comfort
No other choice than to stop being a kid
No other choice than to stop loving you
No other choice than to be independent
But just like my throat my eyes feel red
And just like you my heart is cold
This poem is just something to reread later on to kinda give strength when I need it.
 Aug 2015 Coop Lee
Genevieve
Tell me something beautiful.
Tell me something that will have me
Sitting on the edge
Anticipating.
Whisper to me
Those tumultuous intricacies
You carry in your chest
Let magical phrases
Flit across your tongue into the air
Like butterflies
Akin to the ones in my esophagus.

Tell me of tomorrow
What adventures lie in wait for us
Where you'll take me
What we'll see

Weave a blanket from the tales of the past
That I may wrap myself up into
While you're away.

Tell me what's good
What's bad,
What's sad
What's bothering you,
Making you mad.

Spill it all
Like the milk our mothers didn't cry over,
Like the blood, a brother's pact,
Like the ink on the page,
Like the beans, as they say.

Open arms, ears, eyes,
I'm listening.
Tell me something, Beautiful.
 Aug 2015 Coop Lee
andrea
Peripheral
 Aug 2015 Coop Lee
andrea
I saw you
On the train
You were immersed in the Sunday Times
Headline reading: Girl Missing for 17 years, Finally Found
I think to myself you are the dream come alive
This is the moment they promise in rom-coms
The outlandish answer to "how did you meet?"
I promise this time I will tap your striped-sweatered shoulder

Who am I kidding.
We were on a crowded bus, my hair
Plastered by the neighboring sweat
You
Nearly next to me, preoccupied, with your
Tiny little screen
As you stuff your hand in your low slung jeans
Pull out a stick of gum which you proceed to chew so loudly

Who am I kidding.
I gave you a sideways glance
June 7th
I find that sometimes it just seems like the right guy is so hard to find. Truly, romance is so, well... romanticized, these days. I wish there were simply more realistic expectations.
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