you picked me up in your mother’s white car, 7:30 pm almost two hours late

we drove around and ended up at the beach, sitting on the pier, words spilling out of our mouths making up for lost time

when the sunlight faded we walked down the shore until we saw the big dipper over the waves

you laid your beach towel right next to mine on the sand, it was the first time i started to wonder what you were planning

hours later we found ourselves tangled up in blankets and bodies and you traced your thumb in circles on my elbow, hot breath on my neck and we were so close, lips hovering, a precipice, nearly

and you almost had me, you almost got me

but when we were wrapped in each other's arms, staring at the waves, you whispered

i care about you, but this doesn’t mean a thing

i guess i never knew the stars could fall out of the sky like that, all at once

i wish i was something more to you than an object to be used, and the thing that keeps getting me is i thought you were incapable of treating other people like they didn’t matter, but you curled up in my skin and now it is all stretched out and shaped like you and i can’t fix it and i wish it didn’t matter but it matters, holy **** it matters

you drove me home at two in the morning and didn’t even turn on the radio, but when you parked in front of my mother’s house we both started saying words all at once and i wish i could’ve got to hear yours before i slammed the door in your face

i’ll always have a bruise that looks just like you

you were nowhere on the weather forecast
a sudden storm that left me soaked
i loved the chill you sent through my bones
and the water cleansing my sadness.
i asked you three months ago if i was worth it
and you told me i make you feel dizzy
you were high but i know you meant it
and i think you're crazy for loving me.
all i want is you in my bones
and to feel the warmth of every one of your kisses
every single day of my life
you've turned me into something better.
there are still days when i can't get out of bed
and the thin lines on my wrists are a little more prominent
but you have become my home
where everything is sunkissed and light.

*(a.m.c.)

Always dusk

Quilts like capes and

saying sweet goodbye - cheek kisses to summer,

August draws into September,

where seams don’t matter and everything changes colour.

We suddenly stop running and sit,

our youngness ages like the leaves

and our quilts gather dust

nothing stands a chance
everything around her falls in love
maybe it's the way her eyes
have a deep, even cruel sadness
that captivates your soul
with a smile that makes you
forget the reason for your existence,
and the sadness in her eyes
maybe it's her sweet voice
tantalizing, seductive, tempting
she's like all the books you've ever loved
don't let her touch you
you won't escape
but catch a glimpse and you won't look away
the mysteries of an untamable woman
she's endless, loving, magic
to the passing of her beloved
she gained me,
heartbreaking luck

back-stabbing cynical-
crumpled sailors and crinkled cramps taking
root in your left side
an intolerable frame of mind
burning from the inside out,
the outside in
the stress doesn't die out, what does,
when will i
all bruised hearts and broken hands,
the insomnia that summer brings
spinning at the clocks' demands
breathless sighs, broken ticking, sleepless nights