Streaked by rain
Hair matted down
To their face
Watching from my window
Up on their toes
Glass pressed to nose
Loving me
In a way that only
A night watcher could

Some days, I just want to disappear
I wake up with that sinking feeling
Of nothingness, heavy in my chest
And I long to float away
Fall from out of the sky and spend my life
Shattered on the rocks of my own making
I wish I could be unborn
Bury myself beneath the leaves
And find myself unseen
But the forest is a long walk from here
So I drown myself in layers of loathing
Swaddling up my physical form
Until no one dares to look at me
I'm too pitiful, I'm a disgrace
I don't deserve all the staring eyes
I don't want to be recognized
Not anymore, at least

I never not ache like this
The back of my mind is
Ringing like a church bell
The somber sound of
A drizzling day's funeral

Can I please
Be something more
Than empty

Calm and collected
There's a power
To amber evening light
The bearer of night
The songs of birds
Resonating in my bones
Rhythm pulsing
In my soul
Alone has never been
So powerful

In a patterning in which an infinite number of variables could be considered
There is a why not for every why