When I look into the skies of the night

All I see is an ocean

An ocean of stars

An ocean of galaxies

An ocean of star clusters

An ocean known as the universe

It rips and flows by the laws of gravity

Stars exploding and being born

Asteroids flying as fast as light

Galaxies of solar systems

With moons dancing around planets

In a heavenly dance

Only Godly hands could send these tides of gravity into this dance

This ocean of space is an ocean of beauty

When I look into my past it looks like broken mirror

It started out shiny and beautiful

Then the world got a hold on me

I took the beautiful life my God and Savior gave me

And threw it on the floor.....

This world looked so good to me but I only found that I was drowning in an ocean of sand

That mirror is corroded and disgusting

And all I'm left thinking is

Why was I so stupid

So many look at me and say Jesus shines in me

If that's the case why does my past look at me and like to bring me back

Why am I still here

I sometimes wish I lived at the time of the apostle Paul

Or I wish that I would be persecuted or beaten for my faith

Because that is nothing compared to what I deserve...

I wish those shards weren't stabbed in my back but that's where they are lodged

So why can't I be like pilgrim and drop my heavy burden?

Maybe because I'm a coward

Now here I am

At the feet of the cross

I would love to say I'll just put it down by the power of Christ and I'll be on my way

Why is it every time I throw it down it comes chasing after me?

Jesus I need you

I need to drop this guilt

I need to drop this sin

Sometimes I wish you could just give me a heart transplant

Because my heart crucifies you again and again

Day after day

I'm not strong enough

I'm worn

Jesus I can't fight this on my own

I can't win

I can't carry this

All around me are those you used me to love

But after what I've done I wish you would use someone else

I guess that's just one of the awesome things about you

Is where my sin abounds your grace is more.

I need your forgiveness

I need you

Please forgive me my Lord and my God

Dear God

You called me to go into a school in need of love

I was told to be confident in battle because you promised that no weapon formed against us will ever stand

But now I don't feel very brave right now

I guess this is more of a prayer than a poem

My soul is just worn from the fact that all I see

Is a world that doesn't want a paid fee

But you called me to be brave

So I will keep going

I will run through this flame

All my life is a fight

For this is the reason that I was created

To Love as You do

To be Compassionate as You are

To be Brave because You are with me

I think
as artists
we owe a lot to pain.

Put on
a robe of thorns
and write

about the nice weather outside
and that delicious burger
you had today.

Write about happiness
when you're in pain-
beauty.

I'm done with my pride
I'm done with holding back
I'm done trying to keep control
I'm done fighting with you

God you gave me a life
I'm done misusing it

I'm done running from you
I'm done thinking this life is mine
I'm done wasting my life
I'm done withholding my heart from you

I'm done with repentance

So give me the strength to complete my mission

The only way to overcome my struggles

Is by your strength

So take this sinner as you have before

And do something with his life