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Every day I go in and out

The tide goes down "I'm a new person now"

Or so I thought

But it's only until the tide comes back in

And tries to draw me in

Jesus taught me how to fight the tides

But I'll be working on it for years to come

Those tides of temptation

Those tides of despair

I struggle with my double mind

Jesus said we were supposed to be of one mind

But I still strive to beat that devil out

But daily he comes back

Slowly that second mind is dying

And my love is growing

My God gave what I could take

He gave me what would make me weak so that he could be strong

He made my weakness for his glory

That I may understand what others go through

That I may love those who struggle

With what I've battled for all these years

My affliction made me weak so that my God could come in

And take the wheel

I took his hand one day

And he pulled me out of the tide

But sometimes those tides try to **** me back in

Sometimes I'm being ****** into a whirl pool

I lose sight of my Lord

Just like Peter did

That's when I begin to sink

And the water wakes my sleepy eyes and my vigilance is restored

I struggle to remain vigil

But I'll make it

I have a father to show me
I'm sick of it
I'm sick of a world who refuses forgiveness
I'm sick of a filthy world
I'm sick of Christians who believe they're somehow better then the world
I'm sick of myself because I struggle with love
I struggle with loving the way my father loves
I struggle to see the world through my fathers eyes
I'm tired of Legalistic people who think they've somehow got it figured out
That think that somehow they're righteous enough
I'm tired of fighting for the dying that I love
When they reject me
But
I will still love them
I will still fight for them
I will strive to love the way my father does
I will fight to give the compassion my father does
I will not bow to pride
I will not bow to lust
I will not bow to greed
I will not waste what I have
I will not give up
I'm tired of this world
And I'm tired of fighting
But I have been given the task of Jeremiah
I have been given the voice to speak
Although many will not listen
None of this is my work
I didn't do any of this
My Father did
He gave me his grace
All I ever did
Was say
Yes
 Apr 2018 ClawedBeauty101
Bee
hell is a place where
you constantly love those that
do not love you back.
I could take what this world has to offer
I could live for the late nights
And wake up throwing up with guilt
I could take this world
That feels so good
That looks so good
That tastes so good
Or I could be dead to this world
I could live for my creator
Even if I stand alone
I will stand for him
I am dead to this world and I am alive in him
I spent years running from you
Now I'm running to you
In the heat of the night you gave me hope
I remember that night
It was your grace that stayed my blade
It was your love that kept my heart beating
I was sick of what I had become
I felt so *****
I knew that if I ****** that blade that I would meet you
But that wasn't my time
I knew you had a purpose for me
You brought me through that fight
You calmed the storms
You taught me to keep my eyes on you and not on those waves
Those wives looked so big
You reminded me of the size of your grace
You reminded me of what I was born to do
I wanted to end it all so much
I didn't want to live
I didn't want your grace
Then you called me out
You offered me a place
You gave me a home
I felt so worthless
I felt so hopeless
And you stepped in and made me feel hopeful
Worthy
Something
You made me remember what it was like not to feel pain
You are my God
You are my King
And one day
I will meet you
Face to Face
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