the sickest part
about realizing you are in love with someone
is figuring out that
they don't have to love you back
we believe that
the person that we hold closest to us
should hold onto us just as tightly
sometimes they can't
because they are too busy
holding onto someone else
who isn't holding them back either
and the trend goes on forever.

so after all of this, here i am
sitting on the edge of another strangers bed
coughing up all the 'i love you's that were said to me
but never meant for me
i realize now that curses don't always unbreak
the past is tied to you
like cinder blocks around your ankles
and pressing hard against your chest
like the weight of his other woman
your true loves kiss
wont fix a **** thing
if the love isnt mutual
lately ive learned that
it is sometimes better when you get stuck
kissing your own wounds
and sometimes is always
i never believed that i was somebody
that someone else could love again

thank you for proving me right

Footsteps stomping so hard they send shards of the tile floor flying into the air
Hitting you in the face, you just brush them off
You don't hear me
I am setting bombs off in your backyard
Throwing rocks and dirt threw your windows
You don not come to see the wreckage I have created
I am screaming into your ear till my voices is cracking
You still will not hear me
I am nails dragging on a chalk board making myself cringe
I am a fork dragging on a plate in a quite room
You do not take notice
I am a new borns cry in the middle of the night
I am the screeching tires of a motorcycle going full speed down residential streets

every time I shower, they watch me.
they watch me as I scrub away my mistakes
and whatever I did the night before
also, the marks
and the bruises
and maybe even, no, defintley, the blood that
trails down my body.
they smirk and laugh
as I attempt to cry.
but they know that there are no tears left
inside of my lifeless body anymore.
they speak soothing letters.
almost like soft purrs of k's, i's, l's, m's, and b's.
weird combination,
I know.
but that's what they say.
they spit their foul letters at me as they spell out
words across my naked body,
saying the same **** things
over and over and over and over
again.
they know me like I know the numbers now.
they watch the trail of blood and
they kindly accept the inevitable:
I will probably die in front of them one day.
the same place that has become my hope,
my love, my fear, my ecstasy.
the faces mock me.
but the thing is,
they don't even know that they're the ones who are
stuck in the marble, not me.
I can get out at any time.
I can walk out,
dry off,
and fall into a bright day
and a quiet night.
they can't walk away.
they can't hide.
they can't change.
but me?
well...I'd say I'm ever-growing, ever-changing,
into the one I'm supposed to be.
the one I'm meant to be.
the faces can smirk and laugh all they want,
but I'm not the one who is stuck anymore.

And we kiss.
And in my mind I see stars and lovely seas that look like sunsets.
And I can feel my pulse and it feels like a song.
And then your hands are in my hair.
And warmth pours into my mouth that is like honey and everything sweet in the world.
And you make me feel like a winter flower. Strong enough to withstand the cold.
And my heart feels all fluttery like a moth enclosed between someone's hands.
And there's ice running though my veins but it doesn't hurt. It's a good chill.
And my back arches like the curve of the moon.
And your fingertips are like soft petals tickling down my spine.
And your hair feels like soft strands of sunshine between my fingers.
And all of you is sun shine.
And we kiss.

I'm not okay... But it's okay

Because when I put that blunt to my lips I'm okay

And when I put that blade to my wrist I'm okay

I thought I'd never love this way again,
but you held out your hand and pulled me in.