where are all my friends
I realize they're all fake
fake flowers fake leaves

naturally their love
comes in artificial ways
they don't understand

The rain falls heavy on my heart
Directly and fervently
With a subtle patter to be heard in part

Reflecting only as tired can be
In being our separate, you and me
We are bound by these, such worlds apart

With ribs thrown open like lighthouse doors
And parted seas, as shallow as these
Such broken chances leave their marks

In pouring self out ever slow, in all these ways
The rain, it falls heavily every day
My life is kept from you apart

Both everything
I ever wanted and
Everything I despised
Both rough and angry
Sandpaper man and
Warm and soft
Belly full of beer
But you
With a predisposition
A false thought of
What it meant to be a man
This was both
The personality I craved and
frustrated me to the core
Yet still what I look for
Is not what I hope to find
Everything about you that
Turns me on
Makes me remember
You are not a real man
And still you are
everything I despise
Sometimes
All I want
To rip from you
Both the clothes
And the parts of you
That I never wanted to see
To wake you
From your high
Shake your shoulders
Trace every part of you
In hope it will awaken
The yearning to be more
More than both everything
I ever wanted and
Everything I despise