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 Jun 2017 Brianna
Fenix Flight
Little Carole Jean
You were born to early
Only 20 weeks and 4 days into my pregnancy
Born without a heartbeat

I held you in my arms
So tiny so fragile
8.6oz and only 21 inches long
But so beautiful and pure

You had your daddy's long legs
And my annoying chin
Nine Perfect Baby fingers
And Your tiny feet so cute

I'm so sorry babygirl
That mommy couldn't protect you
I failed you little one
Please can you forgive me.

I see how Daddy cries for you
His eyes show how much he misses you
You were his world, his little princess

I miss you so much
I miss you growing inside me
Watching your daddy wrap his arms around my tummy
And say he is on protection duty

I wish I could have watched you grow up
I can picture you in my mind
Dark unruly red hair
And bright blue eyes like daddy

Your dad would have had to chase all the boys away

I wish I could wake up from this nightmare
And erase this whole last week
Look down and see my bellies small bump
Can I go back to when things were good?

Rest Easy Carole Jean
Be safe up there ok?
You have a whole lot of people to meet you there
And a whole lot of people still yet to come

I will see you again one day
Until then please be good.
I cant wait to hold you again
And I know Daddy can't either.

We will be a family again one day
Until then you are always in my heart.
I will NEVER forget you
I dont think I ever could

I love you daughter
And forever always will
You are with me for eternity

My little baby Carole Jean
My daughter Carole Jean was born 5/26/17. Weighting 8.6oz and only 21cm long. Born still but never the less Still born. I love you babygirl and Mommy always will
a southerly breeze
danced around the elm trees
teasing their leaves
 May 2017 Brianna
sharon
wordless
 May 2017 Brianna
sharon
you tell me things.
good things.
but when you speak those words,
does your throat even vibrate?

-s. r.
 May 2017 Brianna
Lydia Thomas
You say you don't believe in ghosts,
And yet you've met so many,
For what you don't seem to know,
Is they're not folklore or silver fairies,

Ghosts are simply things,
We can't seem to let go,
Like moments in your past,
Where you revealed the colors of your soul,

Ghosts are only nightmares,
That haunt us in our sleep,
They are the hearts that we have broken,
They are secrets we want to keep,

A ghost could be a person,
Who has cut you deeply to the core,
They're often things we've seen,
That left us bloodied, raw, and sore,

Don't you see that ghosts aren't people,
Who have come up from the dead,
Ghosts are only memories,
Swirling blackness in your head,

So now you know the truth,
And we've only found one cure,
Find someone who you love,
Let them in through your souls door,

If your give your darkest shadows,
To a person you can trust,
Then you both can share your darkness,
And your ghosts will change to dust.
 May 2017 Brianna
Deanna
I am standing still as a rock curled up on the floor shaking back and forth. I am overreacting in response to your underreaction and something in my body just doesn't feel right anymore. A piece of me is angry that you dared to have this much control over me. Why were you trusted with a sword you didn't know how to use? Because these wounds are leaking blood and staining the new clothes I'm wearing for you. My underwear is covered in pictures of your favorite fruit that will never taste the same again.

I am trying to rationalize your behavior. I am making up excuse after excuse for you and I am disgusted with myself. It was you who put me in this situation and it is all your **** fault which is why I am to blame. I didn't know that nothing was strong enough to break glass, but here I am shattered after your lack of words struck me. Who do you think you are, because apparently I know nothing about you.

It was so subtle that I almost missed its hands wrapping around my throat. My face was blue by the time your rejection had sunk into my skin, pins and needles over every bit of flesh. I was changed in an instant.

You don't miss me back.

That knowledge bouncing back and forth inside of my skull on a Monday night. And maybe you were tired or maybe you were stressed or maybe you were revealing the truth to me, finally, releasing your feelings, or lack there of for the first time. Wasn't I so lucky to be there for your debut? I can feel ants crawling around on my heart and they must be hungry because they keep biting away miniscule pieces of me that I guess I didn't need.

You mean so much to me but I must be meaningless. I am breaking down and apparently you couldn't care less. You never told me you didn't love me, you never told me you didn't miss me, I had to figure that one out for myself, you never told me I was nothing, but that is how I am feeling.

And soon you will have to see my face and I will get to look upon yours and we will be together. My soul will be screaming out at you, demanding to know what changed, but my lips will not make a sound. I am silent and it has always been my greatest weakness, well, until I fell in love with you, anyway. All of this pain, yet I won't have a word to say. I am trapped here wondering what way it will go. Most of me doesn't even want to know. It's only a matter of days and even after all of this, I still manage to miss you, but

You don't miss me back.
 May 2017 Brianna
wordvango
someone asked me once
what is it you love about life
had to think  long and hard
it should have been easy
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