giving thanks
can be a very existential thing
as the legendary settlers in New England learned
when they arrived
   as illegal immigrants
and the natives
   though wary of their guns and swords
taught them to plant
   corn together with fish
and shared their harvest with them
   late in the year

giving thanks may be a very personal thing
whenever we travel far away
are given a friendly welcome
are fed and housed by the natives
and accepted into their families

giving thanks is a very human thing

it shows that we are aware
of the fragility of our life

that it always depends
on the kindness of strangers
who help us to survive
in their world

after all

we are aliens
in most parts of our globe

          * *

the roots reaching down for water
blindly seeking it out in the dark
the sprouts reaching up for light
stretching toward it as it moves
I am reaching, stretching
in the dark and the light
and it feels so good

maybe we aren't fundamentally weak
but we just have a small fraction of a moment when we're weak
and in that moment, we lay in bed too sad to move a limb or we simply do not want to see the world beyond our front door
this is ok
we are not weak to the core we are weak in the moment

There are worse things
than a broken heart
but to a romantic
to a poet soul
it's fuel, it's fodder
we keep scratching the scab off
and fingerpainting in the pool of our own blood

I have no reason to be sad.
I have food on my table,
I live in a luxurious stable,
I’m not disabled nor financially unstable.
Everything I want, I had.
So please explain to me how I went all bad?

Some days I feel  everything at once
Some days I feel nothing at all
I let my thoughts consume me
I let everything consume me
Whatever that I do is wrong
Even if it isn’t wrong, it can’t be right
I’ve let everything pass me by
I do not seize opportunities
I don’t not make decisions
I just let things be
I just let things happen
I just let things come
I just let things go
I guess I’ll never be free
Never free from this
This deep water with crashing waves
I see a shore ahead and I try to swim as fast as I can
I dive back into the deep and dark waters because the violent waves scare me
But, the darkness was a shade blacker than black
I couldn’t breathe underwater anyway
It was useless
I either be on the surface
or,
underwater
But neither were those two things a way out.
A way out so that I can live
It was actually a way to die