It'd make me a little happier if the grass was a bit greener, but I can't help where it grows. You may be happy, but that's happiness I will never know. I've tried to end it all. I did it every day, because I just feel like ****. I know you know how it feels, to feel like this. But now I use my back, instead of on my wrist. But that's okay, no one would notice anyway. They'd see them, but would never say a **** thing.
This whole thing. Was just one long confession. I know that when I write this out, I'll just get one question.
"Are you okay?"
Of course I am, what else am I supposed to say?
"No, I hate myself, and I cry everyday."
I am supposed to be the man. I am supposed to be strong. But I don't know how much longer that I can go on. This hate is eating me up inside. This smile I show you, it's all just a lie. I use it to comfort myself and hide what's in my mind.

You sat there and laughed at every joke I told. I smiled with when I saw the crinkling of your nose. I'm surprised that I was able to talk with my stomach full of roses. I can't write angrily anymore. Now I just sit upstairs alone and lock my door. Maybe one day I'll use up all the air in here. You can't scare me, I've got nothing to fear. Nothing to lose. No one around to loosen the noose I tied myself to hang from the roof, but I can't stand the sight of you. The one in the reflection. I see myself by day and night, as a constant contradiction with a worsening condition of my overwhelming confliction of emotion. It ***** that I hold on to every word you say. Because no matter who it is, you'll treat the next one the same way. So let me be the next one, cause you're the only one I wanted today.

A beautiful sorrow inside a beautiful girl who never wanted tomorrow. A beautiful night to take such a beautiful life. With the slice of a knife, she turned out the lights. A story you've heard about a million times. With better punchlines, and with better rhymes. But take it from a boy, who has wanted to inch closer death. That nothing is more comforting to us, then our lovers breath. I remember thinking about my life that night, and not wanting to see the rest. But that same night I had her here, and we laid down, her head on my chest. As she left, I turned off my light. I put my head down, I owe you my life. But how can I give it to you when I don't even want to see the rest of it through?

Tonight, with stars refusing to shine, all I can think of is at one point they were all mine. What a lovely night to hold the knife and leave the light on. End my life with the words of a love song. Yesterday, with my stars dimmed in the dark. My scars went black, and so did my heart. I punched a wall so I could watch my hands bleed. I know you don't want me, but you're who I need. Tomorrow, when my stars all fade away, I know you'll stand at the head of my grave. I know that you won't cry, and you won't even miss me. Even if I die, you'll get over me quickly

You’re the reason that I daydream
Because you’re the reason that I can’t sleep
And I just can’t help myself
When this old comfy bed becomes a cell

When I lay awake at night
With both of my eyes open wide

Why are you the only one I see
When you aren’t even lying next to me
And even if I know
I’ll keep searching in shadows

They wonder what it’s like
To see shadows where there should be light
Like crystals to the mid-day sun
I could shine bright and I’d still be dull

As I lay awake tonight
With both of my eyes open wide

Why are you the only one I see
When you aren’t even lying next to me
And even if I know
I’ll keep searching in the shadows

Tomorrow I hope I’ll be fine
I’m still searching for my peace of mind
Maybe if I get some rest tonight
I’ll see it was right in front of my eyes

Don’t think about it for too long
This might start to look like a love song

Sorry, but I’m too lost for you to find
Pal, I’m sorry for being so blind

Why are you the only one I see
When you aren’t even lying next to me
And even if I know
I’ll keep searching in the shadows

I know now, I do miss you when you’re gone.

I come home and I load up Call of Duty
The title screen is so welcoming
It's the only place I feel at peace
Even with all the bullets shooting at me
My Xbox is my only stress relief
It helps me stay awake and think
Because I would give anything
To not fall again and just get some sleep
And I keep thinking constantly
That maybe tonight I won't be so week
But that's all I am, yeah that's me
I'll fight these well known enemies
Maybe if I can't beat my demons I'll beat the game
And get my final killcam with a 2.77 K/D

It's okay, I forgive you. My heart will heal in time. I'll say, "I'll forget you; I'll be alright." And only time will tell, if I can forgive myself. And only time will tell, if I can forget myself. If we live and let live, none of these words'll pass my lips.
Only time will tell.

Suddenly I don't feel quite myself; I'm feeling down. I need some help, please don't let me drown. But I'm thirsty enough to drink this whole sea. I might just to see what would happen to me. I'm beyond it, but won't say I'm past it. So when I die, do not cry, strike up a match and light up my casket.
Watch it burn.

It's okay, I forgive you. My heart will heal in time. I'll say, "I'll forget you; I'll be alright." And only time will tell, if I can forgive myself. And only time will tell, if I can forget myself. If we live and let live, none of these words'll pass my lips.
Only time will tell.

I will not accept what I do not deserve. I wish to meet you in heaven, but my seat in hell is reserved. So I'll ride this train past my death. You bought my ticket, and eventually you'll bare the consequence. I'm beyond it, but I won't say I'm past it. So when I die, do not cry, strike up a match and light up my casket.
Watch it burn
Now I'm gone

It's okay, I forgive you. My heart will heal in time. I'll say, "I'll forget you; I'll be alright." And only time will tell, if I can forgive myself. And only time will tell, if I can forget myself. If we live and let live, none of these words'll pass my lips.
Only time will tell.

Frozen in time and frozen mind. Stuck in ice with a harbored feeling inside that's harder to hide than a feeling of pride and easier than swallowing all the tears you have cried. Backwards in emotions, feelings and all. A country bound by fear and control you with what they want you to hear. They can hide who's died and don't care who they confine when it's not their life on the line. Bind our chains together; Now what's yours is mine and now my time has come to finish what you begun. Pick up this thought loaded gun and boom. Let's start back a new. A new life given is two lives taken.

You've forgotten me now haven't you? You've lost my taste haven't you?

Alright forget it. I'm winning this battle of what's written. I could care less for how careless you've been with my love and abuse the way I'm smitten by the way our hands are fitting. I'm at wits end and it seems like it worsens when I see you; it's a curse and I can't help but be hurt, but wouldn't you too if you knew that every chance you took to make a glance and look my way would make me who I'd like to be? Me without you is a totally different thing from you without me, because one's alright and ones okay; Ones fine and the other won't say; one is her and the other is me.
But really, it's truly okay to exclaim these fluorescent thoughts that can be said as dark as night or bright as the day.

It's hard to forget those eyes so big and bright.
It's hard to forget the hair so soft and glowing in moon light.
It's hard to forget.
Or maybe it's because you already have that I can't.
Because it was too easy for you.
Easier than it should've been.

I'll be okay.
Even it I can't change your mind.
I'll be alright.

I think differently; that's an issue. If I thought the same I wouldn't write I miss you, it'd be I hate you like I'm supposed to. But I can't which ***** and maybe it's too much or too soon to say we had it rough. Because together nothing and no one could touch us. Like the world couldn't get me,without you is like it's against me. Stupid us, silly me, pretty you. I trusted you, and you left Kitten with hell of a job to do. Broken glass; that can't be ever the same. This ******* mess you made.

I did move on
Doesn't mean
I don't hate you
Just because
I still love you

Walking past you used to melt me, but it's been a while since you REALLY first met me. You're beautiful, and smart I can see, but this Lion King won't be ******* frozen by Elsa, the Ice Queen. I used to wonder what it was about me; why I was so disappointing; why when I spoke lightning, you didn't yell thunder. You got over it, while I kept going under. I'm past the past, but walking past you asks why I disappeared so fast. I was an easy recover, but I was in a walking cast. Although, I'm glad it never got to last; Count the number of times that I kept going back, sure I wrote you my favorite collection of words, but the spoken version will never be heard.

This world is a dream with a nightmare underneath. Underneath the hair and head are thoughts of far worse than anything I ever conversed, even when I shared my darkest secrets in your bed. Because who would talk to someone who said they would always be there and then did a reverse? Shunned by the very people who faked the affection that we so rightfully deserve. I've had it done to me by family and friends like I'm under a constant curse. I think that maybe this time it'll be different but it only gets worse. These thoughts are finally getting through the cracks and I'll try as hard as I can to get my words back. I can't hold them all in my hands and you'll choke on them if they ever leave my mouth. This whole thing is about to go south and create doubt of the very thing you sought out. You wanted me to tell you how I feel. Well here it goes: What's the big deal? Who cares what I think or what I say? I'm just another boy on another ordinary day. I can't write poems and I can't sing songs. I can't play guitar and I can't run that long. I'm not another athlete. I'm not the smartest kid. I don't have the best hair. And I can't I'm just another speck along the face of the planet. So who the **** would care if I let myself sink into the dirt to relive the hurt and meet the granite.

As you know, I come from an emotional, dysfunctional delusion
A sort of internal, infernal, disowning confusion
This pain is sempiternal, but I'm a dynamite with the fuse lit
I’m not gonna complain again, cause that’d be useless
I mean it’s not like she’d ever hear the words that I say it's
As if I never spoke them, oh god I'm nuisance

I'm so pessimistic
It's really pathetic
To watch me **** myself over a few sad sentences
I'm so narcissistic
It's really poetic
To tie the knots on my noose with my own words

Before I die though
I'll go on the aggressive
With some passive resistance
Because I'm honestly quite sick of all this constant *******
Call me Ghandi and I'll be quick to dismiss it
Unlike him, I know when I'm through being messed with
And I don't let people step on me like I'm a rug on their doorstep
Unlike me, he's not over possessive
And people didn't call him out for being over obsessive
But we both fight for what we think is right
Except he teaches on the lesson
While I'm kind of offensive
And the amount of times I swear is a little over excessive
But It helps get the point across to these ******* thick headed dimwits
So I can see how I'm not one they'd be impressed with
You know who you are when I'm this far on the defensive
I'm just a little over protective
There's no limit to how much I can stress it
You'd be my way too if you were looking from my perspective.
Because what if all of the sudden
Like a flame in the kitchen
Something you thought was normal grew into something that isn't
Because they only listen
When there is no way of saving
And only when you die do they even look what you've written
Poem after song and song after poem
I'm so sick of all these words unspoken
But I'll let out all my thoughts and that is a promise
So look me in the eyes and I'll be honest

A bunch of pawns in a huge game of chess. I'm a king while you're just like the rest. You got the best of me-that's cool. Won't happen again when my rook takes castle. Look, ******* you may not understand. I've finally had enough man, this is my plan. I've finally stopped my whining, It got out of hand. This king is finally ready to give his commands. And I demand that you release you grip, before **** hits the fan.

One of these days, this disease will take you over. You'll finally go from a drunken stupor to secluded sober. I don't know what I fear more, your elegant words of wisdom, or the lies I see between them. "I can stop anytime I like, but that is not today. Now how about you get on your bike and go the **** away." I hoped that you'd listen and I'd hoped you'd see exactly what your doing to this family. I wanted you to change you, not this disease. "Why won't you listen to me? Open up your eyes! Please!" You'll never catch on with your eyes closed. I know that these choices are your own, and I have seen the holes, so let me be a filler. I’m sorry, but if by now you haven't found a cure, open up your heart, I'll be your painkiller.

All I see is your name, every single day. You know I miss you, so why do you show your face? You act like you don't care, but you seem to be the only trace. The one who is more interested in my fading grace, than me is your ugly face. Don't lie to me anymore, I can see through what you said. You broke a promise, and for that I hope it breaks your head. A mental break down, while I break down this lead. Hit the breaks on the cart. Drill these sentences into your head. You know I'll break your mind because you broke my heart. You know that they'll always come back for you. You made these lights get a bit too dark to hide what's true. But how does it feel to have the lights turn out on you.

Who are we without
the final piece that
complicates our breathing
and
completes us
completely?

I wrote you the other day, but you didn't write back.
After all that, you can't even pen a paragraph?
But I get it
You're not like that
Be tough, grow up, and fight back
I was taught that, you needed to defend yourself
You need to act now
I took this the wrong way
Began to act out
I thought I was being cool
I loved the attention
Which brought me to my very first detention
I wrote you the other day, but you never write back
I figured, "Hey, it's okay. Your busy, I get that"
But I won't be forgotten
I won't be a mishap
I won't let your knives pierce my back
I'm a different now
I won’t lie down
I’m gonna stand up and be loud
Hurt me all you like; I won’t be quiet
I made a promise to stop being violent
I intend to keep it; No hiding
From someone as cold and pale as December
I guess what I'm trying to say
I never sent your letter
I know I made a mistake
But we both know that it's a little too late for change
I don't know how to make this hurt less without losing purpose
So
The message here is
I am not saying I don't care
And
I am not saying you're worthless
Simply, that you're worth less.

Don't sleep, these thoughts will only keep racing
Don't sleep, you're a legend in the making
These opportunities among us
Don't sleep, you’re too old to dream
Don't sleep, you're way too young to be
Please, I want you to stay among us
Don't sleep, you're way too young to

Close your eyes
but please talk to me
Don't you walk toward that light
you mean so much more to me

Will you be my shooting star?
An angel in the sky?
I never thought you’d fall this hard
Please fall into my arms tonight
My shooting star

Don’t sleep, come watch two stars collide
Don’t sleep and I swear you’ll be just fine
There is so much metal among us
Don’t sleep and I swear you’ll make it out alive
Don’t sleep, I know there is some fight in you
Look at all these tubes among us
Don’t sleep, there is so much left to do

Close your eyes
but please talk to me
Don't you walk toward that light
you mean so much more to me

Will you be my shooting star?
An angel in the sky?
I never thought you’d fall this hard
Please fall into my arms tonight
My shooting star

Close you’re eyes
you don’t have to speak
Go ahead and rest
You’’ve earned that at least
You tried your best
All of your cards on the table
How will heaven feel
With two more angels.

You're a shooting star so
We’ll watch the earth from the sky
I never thought you’d fall so hard
Please fall into my arms tonight
My shooting star

It’s all about the lessons
We’re never taught to be strong
Because we never think we’ll ever need to be
So we get hurt
and we only ever blame ourselves
But if ever, just know, it’s not your fault you see

Don’t you think that I’ve gone too far
And don’t you think I can’t fall apart.
Now I tell myself, I won’t be the victim I
Grin as I break to pieces
Everyone around me watches as I bleed
Revelations from the parish of me
Our world begins to crumble
Finally we get to drink this
Filthy poison we're forced to swallow
Each and every time this follows
All we need is some sanity, something to
Reveal to me why it’s wrong to be afraid

No more sunshine, no more light. Where have the stars gone that shown so bright. A moon lit path deep into the night. It shows your black soul, torn from plight. A twilight so dim that only sorrow remains. Let go of the cloth that you've blood stained. Because as you lie awake, in the bed that you made. You can't help but think, you've gone insane. You've lost it, and you just start to cry. Your eyes won't shut, and a piece of you dies. You try to cut it out, but that's a dull knife. You try and try, and try as you might, nothing will stop the pain of tonight.

Sometimes I fear these thoughts, because I am alone. And it makes it even worse, to know that they're my own. I still sit in this empty room, my phone open to your name. Maybe I should call, or maybe you'll just say

"Please just go away. I'm finally at peace. You've sent me through this hell, now get away from me. Maybe it'll be again. But tonight is not your night. We would be the best of friends." It gets better, just when.. It falls apart again.

I only fear my death, because I am alone. And I just want you home, where you'll be my own. My mind is filled with thoughts of you, I can't sort them out. I just want to think clearly now.. But tonight you'll say.

"Please just go away. I'm finally at peace. You've sent me through this hell, get away from me. Maybe it'll be again. But tonight is not your night. We would be the best of friends." It gets better, just when.. It falls apart again.

"I know you sit in that empty room of yours. You wait for me to crawl in bed. I don't know what I was thinking. What got into my head? Please baby let me enjoy your taste. Let me one last time see your handsome face."
And I'll say.

Please just go away. I'm finally at peace. You've sent me through this hell, get the **** away from me. We'll never be again. I tried for all those nights. You don't make the love of your life cry. I just kept trying to convince myself, that I had survived hell. But nothing hurts more than hitting the bottom of the rocks I fell. It gets better, just when.. It falls apart again.

So let's pretend that my personality wasn't crap
That maybe I wasn't so attracted to poems and rap
Pretend I wasn't forced to vent my feelings to a paper and pen
That maybe I could speak to others without caving in
I'm like a house of cards, and you see the grin on my face
You let out your last breath and watch it all fade
Into the darkness, my soul floats away
And I'm so sick of these creatures and that I even have to say
"These words are my own on all these letters I've made"
So let's pretend that I could help who I am
Let's pretend I even knew who I was
But it all really disgusts me because
These people aren't who they claim to be
I don't say who what I am, because I don't even know me
I don't know what they hell I'm made of
They say it's water and blood, but which one do I trust?
With water I survive, but I'll need it like an addiction
But with blood, I'll survive, but I'll create another victim
And I'm so sick of this constant circle of doubt
I don't want to be another lost soul, how do I get out?

I'm watching all these people disappear. The people who are left, know their time is near. No matter how much they scream, the music is all I hear. Some yell as they leave, but it's all a whisper to me. Some just quietly exit as they accept defeat. Why is it a defeat you ask? Well, when they walk in they will have to do the homework that's on their backs.

You're right, I'm not a person. My mama always said, "Don't show your emotions. Don't disrupt their commotion. This corrupt world'll show 'em that a little explosion can cause a big fire, and a little liar can bring the flames higher." I'm not as dumb as I look. I refuse to conform even when my world shook I refuse to be the norm, so am I Captain Hook and you're my Peter Pan? But's the difference between a bandit and a crook? Oh yeah, it's my hand I'll be what you made me to be. I'll be what I used to be, but trust me that you will not be the hero of this story. Now, if you didn't read carefully, turn right back around, because if you didn't figure it out by now, there'll be a hint of doubt. Trust me, even if I've got my head in the clouds, I can promise you right now that I have both of my feet on the ground, and if you get me to speak up it'll be the last sound you'll ever hear.

No, a couple sad songs never hurt anyone
Just let the pain go to know that somewhere
Someone was having the same bad run
But they have hurt me, and that's just not fair
I don't think it's real, no it can't be
A bag a of pills, how could this be me?
I don't deserve this, what have I done?
What the hell is this, what have I done?

No, a couple sad songs never hurt anyone
But if you think about it, it's only time
Until we have to say goodbye to this beauteous sun
I guess no one'll ever know that it used to be mine
This can't be real, I used to own these stars
I don't know how to feel, with broken fingers and hearts
Do I deserve this, I think I might
What the hell is this, this can't be right

Yeah, a couple sad songs have hurt me
But that's okay, because I know what I've done
I mean I know I deserve it, but what should I see
When I'm blind and I'm the only one
I know it's real, and I may not have wanted it
But I won't heal, and this is just what I got it's
what I deserve, and I get it now
I still don't know what I did, but this is how I get out

You've written these words without any promise
But at least I never lied claiming to be honest
I've never spewed hate sincerely with a smile
So don't just claim that I ever acted as a child

You sang the same song a million different times
You yelled them from the mountains while you were mine
So now as you whisper them to try to get back at me
You don't know the monster you've grown to be

This is probably an overreaction
to my fatal attraction
to the one that I'm lacking
And I swear I'm retracting
from this distraction
that couldn't stop acting
not even for small interaction
Although I'm a little impulsive
so I understand why you're repulsed and
I know that I'm a little aggressive
but you don't need to make me compulsive
to make sure I don't sound obsessive
It's just when you mess with
the direction
I'm heading
and you try to steer me out of my headwinds
I get a little upset and
I start to take it out on my writings

You sang the same beautiful song a million different ways
At this point I can't wait to hear what it'll sound like today

No, I'm not the way I used to be, and I never will be again. So **** it all when I have is some friends, and I never understood why I wanted them then, but now that I have them I'll do what I can to never be lonely again. I'm afraid. You know what I'm thinking. Destroy these thoughts with a bullet through the brain like Lincoln and maybe then people would look at what I've written, these hard hitting second meanings. You think all I write about is my heart breaking, aching and writhing pain. Rage is only a second to a deeper thought.

It's hard to think of those eyes
covered by tears when you cry
It's hard to imagine these stories
of losing a loved piece of family

Big country brown or emerald green, you walk into a room with a smile shining. So happy, and you deserve to be. I can't imagine what would happen if you would show how you're feeling. Your family has a missing piece. It can never be filled and for that I'm sorry, but I'll be your shoulder to cry on when you need.

No matter what it's about. I've known you all my life and I'd love to help you now.

Who do these boys think they are? They're just little kids playing with bigger cars. I don't know what it is about girls with jocks. It's like they go after jerks, and are surprised that all they want is for you to jump on their.. Well... I know you aren't like them, but your track record with boys shows that they're bad boys. But look, it's not your fault. You trusted them and they used it to gain control of your walls. Once they were in they broke your heart. Then they open and close them like floodgates. When they leave, they leave them stronger. Now it's a little to late for you to trust anyone any longer.

The woman you "love" should be on a pedestal. She should be treated like a princess; Celestial. I haven't read your story, and that's true. But if you gave me the book to read, I would love to. Don't let my words sound offensive, when in fact they're meant to be candy. Sweater than a glass of green tea. Just like your personality.

I know the feeling of numbness. But a blade to the wrist or the waste is waste of paint when you could bleed red on a canvas. Now you don't have to a painter. My canvas is empty white notepad with paper. I know you can get through this depression, if not now then later. It's okay to fall down and see the grass on the other side be greener. Please don't quit now when your fall is just a fumble. You can recover. It's okay to feel like you're drowning in a little brown puddle. Even if you feel like you're further under. You just need a little help, that's all. Not some pills just a nice person to say, "Hello." Well, here's my hand, and I'll turn your sad blue to a nice bright yellow. Don't you see it? I've just wrote you a rainbow in one verse. Your canvas can be anything or anyone. Show your emotions while you're young. You can draw pictures, you can write songs. You can make music, or play it loud until dawn. Punk all day and country all night is what I do. You can join me if you want, but no matter what I support you.

I care about you, I truly do. Please don't let my fowl language, my bad humor and words distract you. So get your hair all soft and frizzy, be your own style. And I'll be here for you, with or without that wonderful smile.

A pretty little girl; the age of sixteen, she never knew how the world could be so mean, and I mean that everyday she was bullied by the same three. She wrote it in a book that no one could read. And she left it on her desk with a note that says, “Who would need me?” Hey pretty girl, why are your eyes so red? Didn’t you know it’s not healthy to never go to bed. Now you see your these people that you like to call friends and yet again they let you down. Today makes ten. And tonight you will try to end, your beautiful life again. You chug down some pills and maybe cut your wrist, the only thing that could save you is a kiss upon your lips. A voice to say that it’s okay and maybe today tell you that everyday isn’t the same as yesterday and life goes on even after the pain. She just wanted that voice of reassurance. Another person to tell her, “You’ll endure this.” They say to take one, but you fill your whole fist. And when that doesn’t work, you take the bullies hint. You grab your gun and scream out, “Look at this!" Your blood spatters the wall, and your family comes to gather. You were the center of it all, now all they had to do was read the letter. Your book, the story of your life. You cast your shadow and it was about to shed some light. A remembrance of all the pain that you had ever felt. “Welcome to my mind. Welcome to my hell."

Potentially we could exponentially expand the boundaries of our maps without destroying our surroundings just because someone doesn't know what our sounds mean, and what if she found me? Does it make a difference? Would you turn back time in an instant to make a different decision or would she make the same wicked choice you did? What if, for instance, no one met anyone and we just let ourselves be? Like if apathy got the best of me, would their lust turn to their agony? Would our trust turn to our suffering? No, our stability is crumbling and now I'm mumbling, stuttering 'cause it's ow you made me, but baby, I'm not complaining. Yes, what you did to me is horrid and probably a red-herring, and you're still here just to see how I'm fairing. I guess it was  inevitable really. It's destiny; No escaping, and as enraging as it is, there is all sorts of ways of delaying. So where would we be, if we kept delaying destiny? Would I be happier, sadder, or just the same me?

Life is a game you play and not one you can win. You can't just lose your life and start all over again. You'll be gone, yes away from all the pain. But imagine a world where we all feel the same. It's not that hard to picture when that's reality. The truth is most of us know how you feel, even me. Yes we get that you hurt, and I know you seem hopeless. But if you just hold on it will get better, I know this. I've seen it happen, and even if it won't come for me. I'll hold on 'till all my bones break, cause that's who I am. That's me.

It's up to us to make the first step
To be the change we wish to see
So please forgive me
If I choose to yell when I speak
Because I believe that only with force
Can we teach each other
The world is not as scary as you think

For a community we don't have a lot in common.  I like black and you like white, now that's a common problem. And so, we're here today to see if we can solve 'em. Now, say I like black, and he likes white(and I hear you like, "What's the problem", right?). But let me portray it in a different light. With regards to gay rights, what's the problem with thinking the bible was right? Who cares what you think, as long as you don't shove it upon people. Of course I believe freedom of all people, that means everybody, including gays, are equal. But what if I didn't?  Would you resent me for my way of living, for the way I grew up, for the way I was risen? Would you hate me, would you call me ignorant? White and black, two ends of a spectrum, but ultimately the same thing.

What a metaphorical conundrum of ethics.

Honestly, I was happy we danced
But since you gave me that chance
You've barely given me a glance
Always looking down like somethings on your pants
In fact you don't even look at me
You may not know it
but it's shaken me
****, we've changed a lot haven't we?
You were so innocent
Those butterflies were flying
Now your flowers are wilting and dying
Or so I've heard from them; they're lying
They must be
Right?
What I wrote is wrong
Right?
It's an over-reaction
Right?

Thinking back to Jealousy
I'm sorry
I was upset about all you said to me
You said you loved me still
Then you said it couldn't be
You loved me still
Still couldn't be
It's emotionally
devastating
I opened up and got shut down
Almost three years and I still frown
Now when I see you I must look around
But I'm just doing as you asked
You tell me to let go of the past
And I have
You just gave me a great reason to look back
and even better reason to look forward

Seriously stop spreading rumors
Even though the truth hurts
Lies hurt more
Couldn't you come up with something better than
*****?
We know you call her that
Behind her back
So you can stop this little kids act
You call her names even though she's a ******
Causing her misery won't stop you from hurting
I'm preaching this lesson, because you refuse to learn it

I don't think you'll ever get the reasons that I stayed
I don't think you'll comprehend the decisions I have made
Sure I have taken hits, but as you see I've survived
So I refuse to fall down now and say that I have died
I'm so one sided when it really counts
And it's just a habit that I can't break now
I'd say it all, if I only knew how
And if I spoke, you wouldn't hear a sound
So if I decided this'd be my last?
How fast would you get here to make today last?

Enough about me. I'm through talking. It's like the race for my life and I'm ******* walking. I'm out of breath from these constant tirades. My brain is shattered into 3 pieces. And each is more different as my stability decreases. As my anger increases.

You don't see what I do. You're blind as a bat; You see what you want to. I know what I am inside, but you made me this way. You hit me and the cracks grew. You kissed him and broke us both in too. Go ahead and look what you turned me into. Watch me transition from anger to...

Don't worry. You've seen my stability and you've seen me angry. But honey, please look into your heart and maybe you'll see that I deserved this pain, see? Now we can both agree that you'll never come back to me. But hey a boy can dream. Well, I could dream if I went to sleep. But I wake up and I scream, like I wish I would when you slept next to me.