The truth is that I am scared, scared that one touch will pull the last string keeping me at the edge. I was numb for so long, until I reached new heights of pain. It is scary to think that most people who've experienced tiny a portion of what I go through did not make it. I am scared my will has become faint and foggy, clouding my intent, with every step feeling like it is my last. I am scared to love, I am scared to live, I survive because I don't know anything else to do, I smile to reveal my pain but no one is listening. A facade tamed, you are looking yet you can't see

I am not okay! But If I were to start now and tell you how I feel, I would stutter and  find no words sufficient enough to articulate the feelings, accumulated over the years. I have been strong for far too many years, my sanity is under involuntary control...it feels as if I am one touch away from derailment. If I fall now, would you catch me or would you let me be the victim of your lips as laughter fills your mouth...

The dream so vague yet vividly
Reoccurring untill in focus.
And there you are
Your face
Your shades
Your smile
and you spoke.
The sound of your voice, nautical across my spine
Quelling the day's toils in my mind.

But now acutely awake
still wanting to be hear your voice
still wanting to see your enchanting beauty.
It's a shame hands of a dreamer grasps only air.

A dream surreal
A manifesto of emotions follows
Tears running down my cheeks
My frail heart echoes in this tiny room
If I keep my eyes closed, will I see your face again
An attempt is made; eyes shut

But the sun awakens, burns the dream
I awake in fear, shock and scream
Will I ever see your face again?
My anguish, heard from miles
Birds uncomfortably take their wings
Fleeing the terror of my bawls
My life...Is but an intangible dream
Slowly disintegrating.

A facade, it was
Spoken words with no meaning
Movement with no intent
We lied to keep the smiles
Atleast we tried
Caressed and teased
With hollowed hearts
And broken minds
We ignored the errors of love
While chasing butterflies
Our doom came so swiftly

Even with my eyes closed
I can still see the pain in my own eyes
My mind gives out,
A reflection of me I can not dismiss
Brittle it was, shards it became
Dreams no longer offer the embrace as before