Seeing her in her prime made me feel small. She’s beautiful and breathtaking, and I can see why it would be so hard to forget her. Knowing her before she blossomed would’ve been an honor—to know her deepest secrets, to understand her struggles—but not knowing her successes is brutal. I get it. I feel you. But my heart, my mind, my soul crave that connection too. You crave her, you miss her, and I can’t escape her. Her, her, her. Without her, there’s no us. Without her, I can’t fight for you, and I wouldn’t want to. I crave the destruction of my self-worth as I stay with you, watching you admire her from afar. You’re here with me, but you’re really here without her.

I don’t know why my heart loves you so much. I don’t know why my soul cries for you so much. I don’t know why my brain can’t erase you. It’s just my self-worth asking, aching for freedom. I know the love I’m capable of giving. I know the love I’m giving and not receiving. I know the love that will hurt me. I know the love I deserve but don’t crave. I wish it was me instead of her. I wish she’d disappear so I could finally have you to myself. But without her, there is no us. Without her, we can’t prove we belong together. Without her, there’s just no us.

I wished you’d tell me you miss me…so i can know that I’m not wasting my time missing you.

I use to shiver at the sight of 18
I use to frown
I use to cry
I use to drink
Now
I laugh
I smile
I thank
I cheer
Moving on from you was finally accomplished.
I’ll love you forever within.
My 18.

I miss him cause he showed me how to be treated.
He showed me that if someone really wanted to see me they will
If someone really cared they’ll show it
If someone really loved you they’ll tell you
He showed me how someone who truly wants to be with you will sacrifice and make it work.
Yes we did end but it was all peaceful.
He was literally put in my life to show me how to be treated.

it’s so hard to keep cheering on someone
when all they do is show you why to stop.
It’s harder on you because you know how             much potential they have & what do you do from there? Do you stay to show your loyalty or do you leave like everyone else has in  their life ? It’s not your priority to stay and they didn’t ask you to either. But what do you do?

" Even in this cold I can still remember the warmth of your hands"