she kisses her wrists with fresh razor blades,
leaving behind crimson valleys flooding with the universe.

he whips his shins with I'm not sure what,
leaving dark bruises that are much easier to explain than her cuts.

she cannot explain her reasoning,
the chills in her spine won't stop until she finds release.

he tries to make his father proud,
the voices in his head remind him of every time he's ****** up.

she cannot bear to be with someone as ****** up as herself,
but she is the only thing keeping him alive.

Mistakes are like fists full of firewood, waiting to be struck -
We light up like saffron fused matchsticks,
draining with tears the color of grinding lightning.
Every time things get heated, I get lost
in the mist of not knowing enough

Everything we know gets lost in the distance
because the distance casts spells of mist that
Climb up all my windows and screens,
my view becomes pigeonholed bleak.
Your cowry-shell smile is now cast away in waves of doubt
Our mouths are now perpetually filled with
retorts soaked in vinegar,  heavy breathing and static squabbling –
this is what it feels like to be the one who loves more from a distance.

For the girl who doesn't know how to say no:

I have been a version of you too many times
I have worn your body on frequent occasions
Always physically neutral, stock-still
Denying purpose into static
Eyes open
And breathing
I know exactly how it is
To not know how to refuse
Or resist when rough palms press on your skin
I know how it is
To feel there is no other option
But to lie still while eager hands pull at your body
Uninvited lips stepping into your mouth
How quickly a tongue becomes a weapon
I know it all too well
It is iron-clenched fists
It is unforgiving friction
And disintegration becomes second nature
For a girl whose limbs
Are already paper-made
Stares burned into too many white walls
A woman watching her own shadow
And the word no never escapes the vocal chords
Because there is never a question to answer to
It is assumed
That our shared pulse is enough yes
And consent is an easy thing to ignore
When it is hardly ever asked for
Men are taught to halt
Only if it is preceded by screeching
I wonder how many silent cries
Are covered by darkness and heavy breathing

This is for the girl
Who doesn't know how to say no
For the girl who chokes on her words before they can leave her lips
For the girl who freezes in uncomfortable situations
For the girl who has played mime too many times
For the girl who has been made surface to sandpaper hands
For the girl who is always vocal
But in a single instant became victim to chokehold silence

This is for you
I have been a version of you too many times
I have worn the fingerprints on your phosphorescent skin
I have pulled off your clothing after a night of detachment
I see you in every mirror I look into
Every stained glass reflection
I hear you every time he doesn't ask
It is so easy
To forget you have a voice
But I know with certainty that you do
I know
That you understand the stillness
The quiet
The hush
The absence of language
Words held hostage
You are the only one
Who bares the heaviness of night kneeling on your chest
The added weight from all those
Who have touched you without permission
I want you to know
I would carry it for you
If I could
I want you to know
It is not your fault
That your calmness
Is often mistaken for compliance
It is not your fault
That you so quickly fall paralyzed
Playing statue may seem
Like the easy way out
But you were never meant
To stand still
We are built to listen through our bones
Your voice is a million vibrations
Received through the skin
You were made
To howl our names into the ground
Until the forest shakes its trees to their death
And no one is around
To hear it.

I'm your Shiva feel my love
Wear my spirit like a glove
For my Goddess I will melt
Illuminate till I'm felt
In your body brews a storm
*** inside keep you warm
Every inch of you is fascinating
Hold your stare as I'm penetrating
You are divine feel my devotion
Explosive with every motion
From our bodies spills a potion
Lubricating just like lotion
Tasty is your elegance
Choose me make me relevant
To worship every inch of thee
Ravish taste you Spiritually
I am hard..I will grind
Do it fast take my time
Command me do as you wish
Cook for you your favorite dish
On the table or on the floor
Bend you over feel me some more
Seduction tastes a lot like sin
Spoils satisfying  like a win
Bodies battle at the core
Spectacular is our ****** war
Pledge allegiance to my Queen
Feel this Shiva in your dreams

Lust
One of those words that turns you
Grabs likes and causes comments
Lustful
Lingering upon lust
Requires courage for we can be trapped
Inside her endless taunting and tasting
Saltiness of you while waves crashing
Cause us to linger...lost
In the luscious luxury of you
Lust...
Shhhhhh...
We dare not speak your other names
***
Passion
Pleasure
Self satisfaction
Sultry sensuous
Luxurious lust...

Some days,
I've forgotten to laugh.
My scowl says I'm being serious
while my mind loudly whispers
you      ****       head
                    you're          such a ****          up
            watch you die            alone
because
              you          can't              do   anything
and so forth
and everything feels like I'm swallowing
porcupine barbs.

But when I talk to myself and remember
the silly goofy cuckoo bonkers
madcap absurd world I'm living in
where people care more about the environment than each other
are still arguing over whose good book is the best book
seeking to live a life like Jay-Z instead of His Holiness
paying bukoos of shekels to guys to who hit and catch ***** instead of those who teach their kids
while remaining ignorant of the stuff they're eating
I can't help but laugh then!