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 Dec 2015 Carrillo
Summer
i am not a flower
i do not need your sunshine to grow.
i am trying to be fine on my own.
rain or snow
do not get close.
i’ll be fine on my own.
although
I won't sleep most nights,
not because I'm lonely
it will be because
I'm scared when
time swallows me whole
and forces me to remember
how it stung in the shower
last December.
 Dec 2015 Carrillo
Summer
We
Had
Youth

And
Real
Energy

When
Everyone

Laughed
In
Kindness,
Every

Time
Hands
Intertwined
Softly
i don't really like acrostic poems but
 Dec 2015 Carrillo
Summer
getting lost in towns
i regularly find
myself in.
looking.

for the way the earth stands still
when i am with the people i love.
looking.
for myself in old library books
about the government and God. "Americans... are forever searching for love in forms it never takes, in places it can never be. It must have something to do with the vanished frontier." I am forever searching.
I am forever looking.
i am the vanished frontier.

these are regular routines
of an irregular human
with ambitions
who can barely get on their tippie  toes
to touch them.
there is love in me
and it is in forms
you all can barely fathom.
another poem written at 1 a.m.
 Dec 2015 Carrillo
Summer
my ceiling
 Dec 2015 Carrillo
Summer
stars are falling from my ceiling
i am becoming duller.
softer.
there are galaxies on my bedroom floor
I step on their bodies,
unaware of the harm I do.
there is stardust inbetween my toes
and i feel it in every step I take.
i miss the comfort of not being alone.
i keep scraping my knees,
and it hurts when i try to pick myself up
but i do.
just to look at the
stars
which i find beautiful but
when i look at them in awe,
i seem to forget some of them
are actually dead.
dead but getting credit for being alive
just to my naked eyes.
i assume everything is fine.
i do not ask
nor think.
would just rather accept.
it’s just easier that way,
to think seeing is believing.
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