You may not remember me
As it has been ages
Since we last spoke
However, I probably won't be able to forget you
Right from the moment we met
I was drawn to you like a magnet
You were shy to a fault
And extremely sweet-natured
As I got to know you better
It didn't matter to me
That though you were a Tamilian
You spoke only in English
Because you were a great listener
And when you did speak
You were able to articulate your thoughts
Better than almost everyone in our college
Your mere presence was enough
To ensure that I didn't miss a single class
Except when my health was down
It is often said
That people lose focus
After falling in love
However, on the contrary
Thanks to you, I was able to develop extra focus
And achieve better grades
You inspired me
In a way that no one could have done
We once had a debate
On a rather forgettable movie
It didn't matter that our views were different
What mattered was your energy and intensity
And that fact that you took time out
To debate with a person whom you didn't know very well
You even taught me some tax calculations
Of course, it was a case of unrequited love
But totally worth it
And what was even better
Was the fact that you had known all along
And yet didn't shy away from talking to me
You really are one of a kind
As I mentioned earlier , I will never forget you

Ever since I watched you act in the movie "Jagame Thanthiram"
I knew there was something special about you
You took on a very complex role
And brought a lot of character into it
Next came PS1
Though your role was limited
You did full justice to the character of "Poonguzhali"
Right from the moment you emerged from the water
To your feisty dialogues with "Vanthiyathevan"
However, your finest hour
Came in the film "Gatta Kusthi"
Where your character "Keerthi" had to undergo a number of transformations
From a fierce wrestler with short hair
To a simple housewife with long hair
And back
The scene where you singlehandedly fought off all those armed goons
Is one I'll never forget
For the rest of my life
Then we come to the movie "Archana 31 Not Out"
Though, in my opinion, there wasn't anything remarkable
About the movie as a whole
You again did full justice to your character
Right from the travails of your job as a teacher
Including handling a class full of troublemaking students
And dealing with a lot of uncertainty
Due to the impending layoffs
To facing a number of rejected marriage proposals
For all of which you assigned cricketing terms
And finally the ****** scene
Where you delivered a speech
That brought goosebumps to one and all
You are not only an amazing actress
But also a wonderful human being
Bold and brutally honest
And humble and down-to-earth at the same time
Yes, you don't know me
Nor would you have even heard of me
But I can say with a lot of pride
That I will always be a fan of yours

You come from God's own country
And radiate such a beautiful aura
That, unless my eyes are deceived
It seems that you are God herself
Just kidding, you are a human being like any other
A rather beautiful one, though
Your smile is so divine
That it can melt even the hardest of hearts
Your laugh is so infectious
That it can send the entire planet
Into a fit of violent giggles
Your glare is so intense
That it can even **** Lord Voldemort
Faster than it takes to utter the words "Avada Kedavra" !!
Your Tamil accent is so cute
That even a newborn baby would pale in comparison
Your English is so brilliant
That it would put even the Oxford dictionary to shame
Your acting is so superlative
That it would surpass even the drama of Shakespeare plays!!
And finally, I have to shamelessly admit
That I wish I were born in an alternate universe
Where you and I could be together
For the rest of our lives
Because you are not only an accomplished actress
But also a beautiful human being
The heroine who captured my heart

To quote Athos from "The Three Musketeers"
"You are not a woman
You are a demon escaped from Hell"
When I first met you as a colleague
I made the mistake
Of getting friendly with you
When I should have ensured
That our relationship was going to be strictly professional
Of course, you had your own ways
Of charming those whom you came in contact with
That is something for which I have to give you credit
Albeit grudgingly
And you were an expert
At playing the victim card
Nevertheless, after I changed jobs
I thought I had seen the last of you
However, you came back into my life
As unexpectedly as the recent rains in Chennai
Initially, it seemed kind of sweet
However, I should have realised sooner
That you had certain ulterior motives
Unfortunately, I got fooled by your sweet talk
And started helping you financially
Because you looked up to me as a brother
I never doubted you in the slightest
Which was probably the biggest mistake of my life
You took advantage of me
In the worst way possible
And kept draining my bank account
Your lies kept getting taller and taller
And I kept believing them
Because, you had me well and truly under your thumb
However, even the most credulous person in the world
Can develop suspicions at some stage
Thus, after years of being in a psychological coma
I finally managed to wake up to the harsh reality
And told my family everything
Of course, with the help of a dear family friend
After we finally confronted you
You signed a written agreement
Promising to return all my money
Within a certain deadline
That deadline has long since passed
And you have not paid even ten percent of your dues
What is worse
Is the fact that you are absconding
And giving absolutely nonsensical reasons
Which even an utter fool would find it difficult to believe
You ruined my life
Destroyed my happiness
And shattered my self-confidence
Is this the way you treat a person
Whom you have addressed as "brother"
Not once, not twice, but several times?
I am giving you one last chance
Not for your sake
But for the sake of humanity
You had better take it
Because, if not
Then you will soon find yourself in prison
Again, to quote Athos
"You are not a woman
You are a demon escaped from Hell"

I had really hoped
To forget you, once and for all
However, it seems you are always hovering around
Like an annoying little mosquito
Ready to **** the blood
Of anyone and everyone in your vicinity
And looking for that perfect window of opportunity
To mock my shortcomings
Which apparently do not exist
For your precious little "best friend"
Who has a smug smile on his face
Ready to defend you at the drop of a hat
Of course, it will only be a matter of time
Before you tire of him as well
Because, people exist merely for your needs
Which are about as realistic
As Telugu action movies are
Therefore, it is a huge irony
That you were my first female friend
Of course, I am not sure you understand
What friendship truly means
Because, you promise one thing
And then proceed to do the exact opposite
May God help that unfortunate soul
Who truly cares for you
Because s/he will be in for a rollercoaster ride
Which will never end
Until your delusional fantasies are satisfied
By the time that eventually happens
S/he would be dead
Anyway, it was you
Who wanted to be friends with me in the first place
I, being a naive idiot
Readily accepted your offer of friendship
And was with you
Through thick and thin
However, you cut me off
When you needed me no longer
I apologised to you a number of times
Not because I did anything wrong
But because your inflated ego required a massage
Alas! To you, I was nothing more than a problem child
Whom you wanted to mould
According to your whims and fancies
I was never an independent human being
Who could make his own choices
And live his life on his own terms
Your own Brahmin sensibilities matter more to you
Than a friend who genuinely cared for you
Unlike "Mr Smug Face", whom I had mentioned earlier
You destroyed my self-confidence
And turned me into an insecure wreck
God knows how many more people exist
Whom you've treated as "use and throw"
Just keep one thing in mind, though
There will surely be a time
When the tables are turned
And it is you who will become a lonely wreck
Then there will be noone
Who is ready to rush to your aid
Because, you will be forgotten; once and for all
As you deserve to be

Your expressions can ****
Before one can even utter the words "Avada Kedavra" !!
Your eyes sparkle with an intensity
That can melt even boulders
Your smile is filled with a dazzling light
Which is so bright
That it can even turn Hell into Heaven
As we are often told
"Laughter is the best medicine"
Well, your laugh is so divine
That it can even bring people back from the dead
Your sense of fashion is an art in itself
And can even put London and Paris in the shade
Most of all, you gave up a career in medicine
In order to pursue your dreams
With a courage that would have made Godric Gryffindor proud
I can't wait to watch you on the big screen
Because there is absolutely no one
Who can do justice to the character of Poonguzhali
With such a silken grace
As I am sure you will

We have never actually met
I mean physically, of course
But we've got to know each other well
Over the course of six years
When we had our first conversation
I looked up to you, as a senior colleague
In fact, I still do
Especially considering the way you handle certain clients
Who have given us a lot of trouble, over the years
And the way you manage your work
Given that you have to deal with a lot of family matters as well
Is nothing short of exemplary
However, you are not just my senior
You are a good friend of mine too
That's why I rant a lot
As far as work is concerned
Because I know you will listen and understand
And many a time, I find
That I feel much better
After sharing my issues with you
Of course, it works both ways
I am always ready to listen
When it is your turn to rant
Hopefully, it is only a matter of time
Before we eventually meet
Nevertheless, our relationship goes on to show
That it is definitely possible
For two people to be good friends
Without meeting each other face-to-face