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Ashwin Kumar May 2022
I get a call from a friend
To whom I haven't spoken
In quite a while
All pleasantries done, we begin talking in right earnest
Catching up on each other
And reminiscing the good old days
When there was no pandemic
We're just over five minutes into the call
When there is a click
And the call drops all of a sudden
I call him back
And we continue from where we left off
However, after barely two minutes
My friend gets busy
Understandably, work is calling
I know the feeling well
After all, we're in the same boat
However, after a few hours
He calls back
And the conversation continues in right earnest
But, would you believe it?
After just over 5 minutes
The call drops, yet again
Way to go, Vodafone
You've just managed to ruin a conversation, twice
Mark my words
If there are any more call drops
Then it will be you
Who will be dropped, as a service provider
Poem about how a conversation with a friend got interrupted twice due to Vodafone's poor service.
Ashwin Kumar May 2022
We've heard a lot about true love
Seen it in countless movies
Read about it in countless books
But does it really exist?
Well, I'd like to think that it does
You see, I'm speaking from experience
When I first fell in love
I felt like a bird
That had just sprouted wings
And was ready to take off
And experience the sheer joy and excitement
That comes naturally with flying
Especially if it's the first time
I felt like every single day
Was something to look forward to
And I managed to derive some interest
Even out of the most boring lectures
You see, I was doing my MBA then
Anyway, cutting to the chase
It ultimately turned out to be a case of unrequited love
But, as they say
It was totally worth it
My second tryst with love, though
Wasn't quite the same
Arranged marriage, love *** arranged marriage
You can call it whatever you like
But it doesn't change the fact
That it was never going to end well
To put it plainly
We were incompatible
And the eventual divorce
Was a blessing in disguise
I thus learnt the hard way
That it is not enough to be in love
And that is absolutely essential
To have things in common
The more, the better
So, coming back to true love
Does it really exist?
Well, my answer will remain 'Yes'
After all, I'm a hopeless romantic
And I'm not about to give up
Just because of one bad experience
I also believe
That it's a question of when, not if
And I happened to learn
Through a Facebook post
One out of countless posts that I've seen off late
That you shouldn't worry about finding the right woman
Just focus on being the right man
Ashwin Kumar May 2022
Dear Investment Banking
Why do you have to be so difficult?
I spend hours and hours
Days and days
And weeks and weeks
Searching every nook and corner
For some really good resumes
Which are as easy to find
As a drop of water
In the Thar desert
I speak to dozens and dozens of people
Some are not looking for jobs
Some politely decline
Upon hearing the name of the client
Some need time to think
And others don't even bother to respond
It's a cruel world indeed

Dear Investment Banking
Why do you have to be so difficult?
After a lot of frustration and heartburn
And helplessness and desperation in turn
I finally manage to find a good candidate
Who also happens to be interested
However, as expected, there is a catch
He hasn't updated his resume
And by the time he does it
We would have already lost the client
Thus, I have no choice
But to move on
And resume the search
Which is already looking tougher
Than clearing the IIT-JEE!
Dear Investment Banking
Why do you have to be so difficult?
A poem on the difficulties I face in Recruitment for Investment Banking roles
Ashwin Kumar May 2022
We humans have messed around
With Mother Nature and her eco-system
For years and years
Decades and decades
Centuries and centuries
Felling gazillions of trees
Turning forests into concrete jungles
Filling ponds, lakes, rivers and seas
With tons and tons of toxic waste
Releasing enough carbon monoxide into the air
To wreck the entire troposphere
The list of sins against Nature goes on and on
With no end in sight
Given all this, who are we to complain
When Mother Nature has had enough
And unleashes her fury on us
Through earthquakes and tsunamis
Avalanches and volcanoes
Hurricanes and tornadoes
Floods and droughts
And so on
Remember, Mother Nature has blessed us
With oodles of riches
In the form of plants and trees
Mountains and forests
Ponds, lakes, rivers, seas and oceans
And last but not the least, oxygen!
It is time we show her some gratitude
And more importantly, respect and compassion
And stop messing around with the eco-system
Remember the famous old saying
Live and let live
It doesn't mean infrastructure shouldn't be developed
We can build roads
We can build a railway network
We can build houses
We can build schools and colleges
We can build hospitals
We can build libraries
However, as my grandfather used to say
There is a limit to everything
And we should also plant trees
Build gardens and parks
Switch to renewable sources of energy
And cut down severely on emissions
A balance should be maintained
After all, messing around with Mother Nature
Will only bring about our own downfall
There have been enough natural disasters
Caused by human negligence
Let's not add to the list
Which is already longer than the river Nile!
Self-explanatory!!
Ashwin Kumar May 2022
An acquaintance once advised me
Not to fret over Recruitment
Because it is the easiest job in the world
I have blocked him
But that's not the point
The point is
Recruitment is a pile of work
That keeps growing bigger and bigger
Until it surpasses Mount Everest
And it is also a fly
That keeps hovering tantalisingly above you
Daring you to swat it aside
Before making "The Great Escape"
At the eleventh hour
As far as today was concerned
Recruitment was losing the toss
And watching your bowlers being carted around for boundaries
In all sorts of directions
While enduring a long day in the field
Under the blistering heat of a raging summer
That has already wreaked havoc
Across the entire nation
Who knows what tomorrow may bring
In any case
We do know one thing for sure
Recruitment is anything but an easy job
Fairly self-explanatory!
Ashwin Kumar Apr 2022
Expectation destroys everything
All of you should know that
After all, I am a human being
Not an AI-programmed robot
How much can I manage at a time?
You expect me to work
And aggressively at that
Handling five mandates at a time
When you very well know
That even three is not a walk in the park
You expect me to exercise
When I barely have time to complete my work
And on top of that
You expect me to eat
You expect me to drink
And you expect me to sleep
Like every other human being
Do you even hear yourself?

Expectation destroys everything
What do you get
When you expect too much from people?
Disappointment
Do you really want that?
I repeat, I am a human being
Not an AI-programmed robot
Put yourself in my shoes
And see if you can achieve
What you're expecting me to achieve
Of course, you love to say
That I need to be flexible
Well, I certainly do my best
But you need to know
That, sometimes, even your best is not enough
When you're up against time
Because time is not flexible
And will never be

Expectation destroys everything
I hope you will realise this some day
Because, if you don't
Then it will be your loss, not mine
Until then, here's to expecting
And getting disappointed
Ashwin Kumar Apr 2022
It is a long weekend
A much-needed break
After four days of hard work
With no results to show for it
As the clock strikes nine
I slowly open my eyes
Still stuck in the twilight
Between my dreams and waking up
It is only the prospect of coffee
A strong, hot cup of morning coffee
Prepared by my dear  mother
And full of a rich aroma
With no sugar to spoil it
That gives me the strength
To climb out of my bed
I then head towards the dining table
To give my mom a customary hug
Before entering the kitchen
And grabbing that cup of coffee
As I head back to my room
And reclaim my bed
I check my phone
As I am wont to do
And bang! my Whatsapp is filled to the brim
With all sorts of notifications
The smile on my face
Turns into an ugly frown
As I check one of the many notifications
It is from my boss
Asking me to be available at one o'clock
For a call with a client
That too, that dreaded client
Which has ******* us over
More times than we can even count
And I also happen to notice
That the client HR has added us to a Whatsapp group
Which means there is no way we can back out now
Way to go, guys
You know for sure
How to spoil a weekend
Self-explanatory!
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