Thirty two years and counting
I haven't found true love yet
And I am not considering unrequited love
I've been there twice
The first occasion was during my MBA
To cut a long story short
I simply couldn't pluck up the courage
To tell her how I felt
When I eventually managed to do it
It turned out to be a case of locking the stable
After the horse had well and truly bolted
The second occasion was an arranged marriage
Where the engagement brought us closer to each other
Or at least, I thought so
But the issue was, the girl didn't
And the pandemic pulled us apart
Metaphorically as well as physically
Thus, that didn't end well either
Now that I am single again
Thanks to this amazing human invention called "divorce"
The hunt for true love continues
Before we proceed further, though
Let me get this off my chest
I am a work in progress, not a finished product
And I have my flaws
But then, we all know the saying
Nobody is perfect
Everybody has some flaw or the other
In fact, it is these flaws
That separates us human beings from robots
Which are equally intelligent as we are, if not more
But I am going off-track
The point is, I need someone who loves me as I am
Of course, it works both ways
If I love someone with all my heart
I would do anything for her
I mean, anything that comes within the definition of "ethical"
And I wouldn't want her to change one bit
I mean, as far as her character is concerned
Now that we are all on the same page
It is time for me
To resume the hunt for true love
Of course, we all may have our expectations
But I ask for only two things
Unwavering loyalty and trust
And accepting me as as I am
With all my flaws
And when I do fall in love
I hope and pray
That it is reciprocated, for a change

I am different
And have always been
Right from the age of four
Whether it be my fascination for trains
And cement mixers, for some reason
Or my peculiar fear of water
Or my obsession with the number of pages in a newspaper
And last but not the least
Playing cricket with myself

I am different
And have always been
I can't make small talk to save my life
Social cues are like Greek and Latin to me
I understand sarcasm
As much as Voldemort understands love
I keep fiddling with my things
Pens, papers, clothes, hair etc.
My room is as organised
As a typical bachelor's den is
And the list goes on and on

I am different
And have always been
Earlier, this always used to bother me
And make me feel inferior
Especially when people advised me
To improve my verbal communication skills
And body language
However, I have realised now
That they could not have been more wrong
Because I am autistic
And autism is not something that can be cured
Rather, it has to be managed
And thanks to therapy
I have been managing reasonably well
For the last five years or so
Let me repeat
I am different
And have always been
If you have a problem with that
You are welcome to leave

We work ourselves to death
Day and night
We pay attention to the tiniest detail
And analyse everything with the utmost rigour
We keep putting things off
So that we can give our undivided attention
To the project in front of us
After successfully completing a humongous project
A project that pushed our buttons
And almost drove us to the verge of insanity
We began another project
After the barest minimum of a break
And yet again, we've pushed ourselves
To the very limit
However, you've not uttered a word of appreciation
On the other hand
You only seem to be intent on nitpicking
Correct this, correct that
And blah blah blah
Seriously, what does it take to satisfy you?
Should we sprout wings and start flying?
Or even better, should we wave a magic wand
And cast a spell
To ensure that each and every whim of yours is satisfied?

Day after day
Week after week
Month after month
Year after year
You've shown the world
How not to be an employer
Treating your employees like slaves
Demeaning them with insults
That were way below the belt
Denying them their basic pay
For which they have braved storms
Scaled towering mountain peaks
And dived to the bottom of the Pacific Ocean
And firing a few of them
For no justifiable reason whatsoever
Today, however
You have sunk to a new low
It is bad enough to not pay your employees
But to accuse them of not doing their jobs
And lie to their faces'
That you've been paying them properly
Is despicable to the core
And goes on to show
That you are nothing more
Than a rat in the gutter
But then, the rat at least deserves to be put out of its misery
You, on the other hand
Deserve to rot in the confines of Tihar Jail
For a very very long time
Of course, we all know the famous saying
An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind
But it applies only to human beings
You are not one

I have been working hard
For hours and hours
Days and days
Weeks and weeks
Combing every portal
Sending hundreds of mails
Speaking to hundreds of candidates
And yet I see no light
At the end of this extremely dark
And insanely long tunnel
I have sacrificed so much
Be it watching cricket
Or playing mobile video games
Or reading books
Or going for walks
Or exercising
Or even
Spending quality time with my family
Don't get me wrong
I love the work I'm doing
It is, after all, a wonderful learning experience
And will hold me in good stead
For the years to come
But surely you've got to admit
That I could use an extra pair of hands
To say that the company is short-staffed
Would be the understatement of the year
How long do you expect me to go on like this
Doing the work of at least two people?
After all, I am a human
Not a robot
So far, I may have been on the right track
But at some stage
I am bound to crack
And when I do
It is not only I who would suffer
But the company as well
You wouldn't want that, would you?
So, please hire more people soon
We need all the support we can get
And while allocating work
Please ensure that we don't end up biting more than we can chew
After all, we do love our work
But it is equally important
That the work loves us in turn

You know the famous saying
All good things come to an end
This applies to weekends as well
Or in this case, Sundays
Because I was forced to work yesterday
Due to a massive project
Which will keep me occupied
For a good three weeks
Including two Saturdays
Hence, all the more reason
To positively dread the start of tomorrow
Ah yes, the infamous Monday
Something that terrifies me
More than climbing Mount Everest
Or entering a lion's den
Or earning the wrath of a cobra
I can go on and on
But I think I've made my point
Yes, Mondays are bad
Especially if you've enjoyed the weekend
As much as I did
Notwithstanding working on Saturday
So, do you want to know
What makes tomorrow twice as bad
As any other Monday?
Firstly, as mentioned earlier
I am working on a big project
Probably my biggest in the last three years
Secondly, while the going has been smooth so far
Things are going to get tricky
So far, all I have accomplished
Is pure research
But now, I'll have to start calling people
And these are not recruitment calls
Which are relatively straightforward
On the other hand
I am entering pure sales territory
Which may not be a big deal
For most "normal" people
But for someone who is autistic
It is a different ballgame altogether
In fact, it is like steering a ship
Through the Bermuda Triangle
And finally
The biggest roadblock
In my long and treacherous path
Is not the candidates
Not even the client
But my accursed laptop
Whose ability to perform under pressure
Is even less than that of South Africa
In a global cricket tournament

We have been in this relationship
For more than six years
For the first three years
You served me really well
Whether it be the network connectivity
Or the quality of calls
Or the mobile data
But since then, things have gone south
The calls started dropping
There were plenty of times
When I could hear the other person
But s/he could not hear me
And vice-versa
There were also plenty of times
When the other person's voice was muffled
Or worse, distorted
And finally, the mobile data was slower than a snail
Thanks to your disappointing service
My work was badly affected
And I lost a few candidates
But still I gave you a chance
As per your suggestion
I changed my Sim Card
And for a few months
It was smooth sailing
I thought we were on the right track
Alas, how wrong I was!
Every time there was an issue
You came up with all sorts of excuses
For instance, geographical reasons
And network settings
And whatnot!
Then the pandemic struck
Leaving you short-staffed
And your service suffered accordingly
So, I decided to wait
Until normalcy was restored
Thus, I gave you another chance
Unfortunately, as always
You failed to take it
And for the first time
You showed some attitude
This was really the last straw
And I have decided
That I have given you enough chances
And it is only a matter of time
Before I am finally done with you