oh see,
i will take this outlet
[this two pronged outlet
one of you and one of me]
to reply because
i picked up the phone today
and called someone else
thinking
"oh hell i'll warm up a bit
before i dive into this-
i mean, i want to get
my personality right
don't i?
I MEAN DON'T I?!?!?!?
WHO THE HELL AM I ANYMORE?!?!?!?!"
panic set in.
i called my dad.
he's always calming.
we talked about christmas ****.
what he wants. what mom wants.
it calmed me down.
i figured out who i am:
i'm just a dude playing a dude disguised as another dude,
not breaking character til we're done the DVD commentary.
[paraphrased of course cuz I don't plagiarize.]

i'll call you
but how late will you be awake?
i'll call you
but what are you doing right now?
i'll call you
but why am i nervous?
i'll call you
but aren't we all one Being?
i'll call you
but but but but but but burt but but but but but but but but but
don't you have home work
or something better to do
than listen to me preach
and flap flap flap flap
and not hug me again
and not listen to me
or are you listening to me
or am i neurotic
or is it all smoke and mirrors
and seriously i'm coughing uncontrollably
and you'd think i'm crazy
but it's that holiday season
and for the next handful of weeks
i've got a handful of excuses
of why and how and what and how
but burdens only stack up
and i've released literally every single one
except i'm still replaying josh ritter in my head
and the car ride home from that purple chair
and the walk around the duck.

[not stopping for breathing
or trimming my toe nails,
which started growing again.]

and LA and Delaware and pencilwania and where we met on that pier at that show in socal and house of blues and mini golf and lists and names and places and "there's no hell when you die, so don't look so worried."

and i'll call you
but will you answer?

Life is just a series of events,
isn't it?
We have plans for our future that we're trying to carry out.
What about living in the moment?
Sometimes, I feel like I'm living the dream.
Whose dream?
Other times I feel like I'm not even alive.
I'm looking at my life from afar.
How is that human?
We want our lives to be as easy as possible.
But what if we need the hard times to make us who we are?
We try to have as many "friends" as possible.
Why?
Wouldn't it be better to have a couple friends that you could talk to about anything; than 1,000 "friends" that don't even know you?
Ask yourself,
                                          Who are YOU?

The moment she realized she had taken back her happiness was one of the greatest moments of her life. The light shined in and her soul, heart, and mind melded together rejoicing in the fact that they were finally on the same page.

Blinding blue and red lights
Pierce the roadside night,
Slowing cars to a crawl.
Officer directs you past
To prevent gapers
Still you look quickly, try to see.
But the ambulance is in no hurry.
Who has to make the call
That will destroy someone’s life?
pwl  7/7/15

Till yesterday I was his darling,
His angel, His miss perfect,
To whom he could devote his whole life,
Those soft tender touches,
Those silent talks,
Those exchanges of glances like butterflies.

But as days passed storms kept
On breaking on the shores,
And one day my words annoyed him,

My concern made him feel irritated,
Thats when I knew I have to leave
And walk away
With stones and rocks on my heart,
His lies which used to be truths,
I was left wondering
Whether all the things were illusion of mine
Or just another  nail which peirced my heart ..
Telling me to shine,
To let go the pain
The people
The fake world

I left him and he said he didn't care.
I said Im okay
But everyday I want to hear his voice,
See him
But I know I can't.
Because its just too early to go back
Too early to decide
Whether he is worth the pain or not.

I cannot see him cry.
And I hope he is wishing the same,
Because if its meant to be
It wil.