she always posted my bail and
never asked what I d done
and she paid the back rent
twice
always had dinner for me

she loaned me money
and I never paid her back

and when I was gone

for 2 or 3 days
she didn't ask where I'd been

she broke my nose
with a non-stick frying pan

she broke my heart with a letter

she s the best I ever had

Honey,
if you read this:
i'm in the county jail,
call the bail bonds man
I need you more than ever

YOUR THE BEST I EVER HAD!

Its all good when no one knows.
Its all good when it doesn't show.
Its all good when the tears you cry...
Are covered up with mindless sighs.
'I'm fine'
'I'm okay'
These are the lies we tend to say.
People see you happy.
But is that how you feel?
They say it will pass...
But for now its real.
Cause the things in your head
Stay there instead.
Its the thoughts.... The thoughts that ****.
Yet we still smile with all our will.
So next time you see someone smile...
It would be worth your while
To see if they're really okay.
You see a smile can go both ways.
Sometimes a smile....
A smile is as good...
As the weakest cry for help.

I asked her why she cut herself,
and she said,
"Because death has an edge
and life is pointless."
She asked that I not
write a poem
romanticizing suicide,
just a poem about
how hard it can be
to celebrate life.

When I was little
I played with plastic toy knives
and dragged them across
my brother's throat
saying, "You're dead!
You're dead! You're dead!
I swear, you're dead!"

And we pretended
kool-aid was blood,
letting it drip down
my chin and neck,
down my chest,
past my pec.

I wrecked my bike
and ran for days.
I was stung by bees and swore,
"Nothing could hurt more
than this."

And when I turned twelve,
I learned how to ******* to dreams.
The grip on my skateboard
wouldn't let go of me.
I ollied over plastic bags
and stared at lottery tickets
sleeping in the garbage.

She and I played with fireworks
faster than shooting stars.
We waded in the lake,
being a cliche.
She and I rolled on the grass, naked.
I don't know where she is, now.

I don't know.

Who really wins
when you argue their folly
when it's your reaction
that gives them their jolly

It's your peace that is broken
personal harmony dies
shouting them down
is so seldom is wise

They seek to birth anger
with a message so sick
but living peaceful or angry
is your choice then to pick

But anger brings bitterness
and bitterness hate
that direction needs ending
before it's too late

A harmonious spirit
a peaceful heart
is an honorable movement
one we must start

I'm not out to deceive,
But will you believe,
Sight unseen,
I've a million
In my front pockets.
You don't have a reason?
I'm not gentry,
I'm not young,
I'm only one
Of several sons.
I've not got designers on.
Oh, you've heard of me,
But we've not crossed paths.
I'm a stranger.
Could you believe
In my innocence.
So many do,
And shouldn't I
Believe in you.

They spewed words
meant to offend

Their beliefs were not mine

They tried to change me
to make me see through their eyes

They were insecure in their beliefs
and what they needed from me

Was my approval, a justification

The reaction they sought
never materialized

Their anger grew
into a childish tantrum

To be secure means
never having to argue
your beliefs