My fingertips are littered with crescent indents
Some are shallow and will fade soon
Others have split to reveal the stars within my hands
Leaving scars that healed quicker than their making

The world blurs for just a moment
A breath held for too long
An unfamiliar tightness coils slowly
The colourless haze thick

My mind is like a clock
One that is maybe 4 minutes slow
(A good enough guess, I mean who really cares about 4 minutes?)
The hands are a bit wonky, pointing haphazardly at the number like its unsure
The numbers themselves are looking a bit rusty
But people know the basic layout of a clock
It's similar enough
It still makes the tick tock sound, albeit a quiet tick tock
One you'd have to strain to hear
But it's there, trust me
I am still useful
Someone will still need me
Someone will still choose me

I have never felt more worthless,
Than on days when you take my hand and you ask me what's wrong

Maybe it's because of the way your eyes glaze over.
Shifting to a spot slightly over my shoulder
One that I'm sure is filled with more beauty than you see in me
The sound of my voice becoming white noise
Making way for a symphony of colours within your mind

Maybe it's the way your shoulders slump slightly.
Trying to carry my weight is too much for you
Don't worry, I'll take it back when you're asleep later
I've gotten used to carrying enough for the both of us

Maybe it's the way your grip on my hand slacks.
Are you scared you'll break me if you hold me?
Are you scared I'll break you?

I've recently noticed a shift
It's like we're magnets, you gravitate upwards and you're always glowing
And I've learnt to hold my tongue

I don't know why tonight was so bad
I was doing fine, save for a few bumps in the road
Loneliness hadn't visited me in a long time
But now I'm siting in the garden with her at 2am
And she's watching me break

I've always been happy to be alone
But I hate being lonely
And it feels pathetic
And it feels humiliating
But right now all I can think about are the stars and the salt on my lips
Everything else is long gone

Misery is the cruellest friend
She climbs into bed with you and clings to you
Loyal to a fault she doesn't leave your side,
You will feel her cold fingers down your cheeks,
So rough and calloused they leave tracks in their wake.

Misery is Selfish
She hisses when people get too close to you
Too blind to see that her protection causes loneliness
Misery is angry
Crescent indents always appear on your palm
She doesn't mean to hurt you though, she just needs a distraction
Misery is hurt
She cries all the time,
Sometimes she screams.
You attempt to stitch the wound but can't find the tear,
There is no bone to straighten
No graze to bandage
Not even a bruise to sooth.

She's your best friend,
The only one you need in your life
So you hold her hand
Feel her jagged and uneven nails
And walk with her.

Once upon a time there was a little girl
Who understood the world far more than she should have
Who observed too much to be fooled by false pretences
As she grew her knowledge expanded like the roots of a ****
Her sympathy twisted like Ivy
She walked with her shoulders back and her head held high
Steele gaze hardened through years of learning the dangers of vulnerability
They cannot harm you if you have no weaknesses little girl