it’s not the rejection of the “cliche” you despise, that matters, it’s the respect you gain for it as you drift from each other

An apology without change is manipulation

this is when i shine
when my true self
comes out
when you aren't awake
to stop me
this is when
i am alone with my thoughts
and i
cant
take
it

                            h
                            e
                            l
                            p

It's too early for the past
music takes forever
too bad it's not last
ions and molecules I didn't ask
43 feet above the floor
my ferris wheel of a task
Je n'aime tu
puis mange parce-que j'ai faim
Can we move to creative writing?
public static void main(String [] args )
public String want;
private boolean love?;

i’m trying to be healthy
i’m eating more than one meal a day
i’m working out
i’m smoking to have a good time
i’m pushing through the bad times
again

My words are failing
My heart is falling
creative
mentality
My teeth are grinding
My hand are clenching
stop telling me
what i need
what i should do
what you beleive i should be
what i believe is wrong?
My lips are trembling
My legs are folding
better
faster
stronger
bigger
Better
Faster
SStronger
BII­gGer
BETTER
FASTER
STROONNGER
BIIGGGEERR




stop

|||

do you remember
when i started my job back up
and the happiest time
back in march
we were confused and relieved and scared
we sat and watched greys anatomy
and smoked **** and laughed
you’d pick me up after work and we’d sit for hours
no worries
not knowing that it was gonna last forever

Acceptance is cool
Trying is cool
Colorful things are cool
Researching the things you like are cool
Eating healthy is cool
Doing things with your friends is cool
drugs, in order to expand your mind and grow internally, are cool
Working out and exercising all the time to make yourself healthier and more attractive is cool
Keeping your room clean is cool
Brushing your teeth every day is cool
Writing everything down because documentation is the only thing that helps you to remember who you are is very cool
Creating fantastic works of art and functionality are so very cool
Drinking 8 cups of water (8oz) every day is cool
Being nice and helping your family is cool
Loving being outside and active is cool
Actively fighting the feeling of heaviness and darkness that keeps you stagnant in life is cool
being content is cool
Being cool is the only way to survive while enjoying the whole thing

I still think of you when I hear your song
Songs that weren’t yours
When it’s silent

i can taste it
memory in my mouth
sound on my tongue
heaviness on my head
i’ve felt this for way too long

comfort yet scarce
i never wanted it
it just happened
i love thé way it bit

tequila and vitamin water
desperate times call
desperate measures answer

His mind, a field to which I long to run across
His heart, a ball that I wish I could have the strength to hold
His chest, a bed that on I wish to sleep
My face, the obvious signals I’m trying to give
My heart, he’s grabbed hold of for way too long
My name, that I wish for him to call

we mistake a small cold
for a chronic illness leading to death
we mistake a bad grade
for failed success that leads to a job at McDonald's
we mistake a bad haircut
for a complete unattractiveness that leads to being alone
we mistake an awkward look
for a social downfall in today's botched society
we mistake a bad day, a horrible week, an ugly year
for a permanent lifestyle leading to suicide
the sun will come up
don't end the day before it has finished

do you know anything about yourself
or is it a distraction, for attention
Do you love yourself, or the things people convinced you that you are
how would someone even know themselves if all they know is what they’re told
all they think about, must be crazy
no matter how much time I spend with myself, in the end I’m more interested in you

mascara soaked pillow
runny nose and a box of tissues
shattered heart
a look of confusion?
and pure hurt

each victory
smaller than the last
We are told none is too small
but I can’t see them
they blend in
no longer victories, they are routine
nothing changed

where are you going? who are you with?
who do you call? for how long?
why do you walk like that, talk like that..
read like that, write like that..
converse with them, why do I?
how did I find you, and you me
beehive, anthill, sky
city, town, school..
who are you,
where did you come from?

Love is not easy return
love is not slice a cake
love is not lemon squeezy
love is not chill
Love is permanent  
and most importantly
when love is broken
Love gets revenge.

They’ve got ahold of me
Ahold of my love and my feelings
Gripped although we were close
As I walk, I long
Long to be with you
But, as if you were here
You left
This state of mind has me talking to the moon
Wishing you were looking too
Maybe if
There was more time
And less distance
Then our love would stretch far

are you committed
cause I'm your crime

He pull me through the space
A space filled corner to corner
With voice
Filled
Overflowing
I am flowing
Without knowing
How
Can’t you see
In the dark?

A Fly
that's what you are
pesky little irritating low-life
if you were a fly
you would die
in less than a day
less than 24 hours I would be rid of you
with your disease, you spread pain and suffering
that kills
you have infected me
and I have a Fly Swatter
so rid me of your presence
before I rid myself
of you

he's peering over my shoulder,
watching me type,

hes gazing from across the room,
stop, please
I
Am
Uncomfortable

i wish to love
but there is a gut feeling
that this love
could get me into trouble
a gut feeling
that this love
will corner me
and force me
to love it back
this love
makes me tremble

Love
Love hurts
Love harms
Love excites
Love makes my header pound
Love makes my heart break
Love makes me real happy
Love makes me real sad
Love comes in many forms
Friendship
Motherly
Fatherly
Between siblings
Between celebrities and fans
Between a girl and a boy
Between a girl and a girl
Between a boy and a boy
Between a person and their bed
A food
Love is great
Be careful with love
It’s dangerously fantastic

I'm in love with someone who hates me
I'm in love with a *****
a horrible person
someone who would rather not hang out with me
have you ever talked to someone you used to be heart in heart and step in step and then they left
they stepped out of line
they took a path you'd like to but they have created a blockade
I want to follow but I'm too far
I've fallen in a hole and you don't believe me
I've cut too deep, but not deep enough for you
maybe if I hurt more
if you saw me cry for you
if you saw me spend my time figuring out what to say
less symbolism
no more vagueness
more love
understand me
I can't keep deciphering you boo

Whats wrong
Are you ok
Talk to me
What’s going on
Why are you sad
Why aren’t you being yourself
why are you crying
Stop crying
What are you saying
I’m sorry
Stop
What’s wrong
..
why don’t you already know

amber shine
the sun wishes she gave the same high
marked me like a bloodstain
cold water wishes she could get it out

i am not anything
i am not nothing
i am everything
all the time
every second
every minute
every hour
every day
i am floating
and i am falling
i am cold
and i overheat
i plan
and i spring
i change
my mind
my time
my clothes
my love
i color
i layer
im mean
my heart is huge
3 times too big
i build
i destroy
build again
i dig
i fill
i trip in the hole again
its how i get sometimes

productivity is a dragon
slain by the knights of pleasure and sloth
security is a castle
built by the dragon
housing the knights as they tear from within
it was not built in a day
or two
or seventy-five
the forest where you're from is a castle of its own
the knights roam free in the forest
but theres monsters there

Same old rotation
Searching for meaning in programs
Only stimulating I don’t know when
I cry
I die
Somebody take me

One day our world may end
I don’t need another lover

you think when someone writes, all the insecurities flow into the poetry and out of the person
you’d think it’s relieving and is viewed as an outlet
i find myself trying to be someone i’m not
for fear of being myself, who i despise
i find it hard to believe i think so cliche

I want to do it,
to do what I've always wanted
You wish I wouldn't
because then you would be haunted
because what I would have done
would have
involved a gun

everyone wants to be my friend
everyone tells me how much i’ve changed
i’m being unblocked
by people i thought were here the whole time
by people i thought had been mine
i had a change of heart
i stayed with the others
i saw the other side
you have nothing to say

i know the looks to give him from the corner of the room
i know what to say late at night that make his heart go
i know when to talk to him and when to wait
i know what songs to share
i know how to compliment his hair and his beautiful eyes
i know how to love him right
but
this thing about it is
love is an act of surrender to another person
i wanna surrender

I hate crush culture
I’m in love with a gay guy
And a straight girl
I’m in love with people who will never be with me
Because of a dumb thing like sexuality
I’ve tried to define my self but the closest I’ve gotten is that
i like people... just people.

the way he makes me smile
I love it
when his name pops up on my phone
I love it
when he looks at he with those blue eyes
I love it
every time he sees me, he comes over to give me a high five
i hold on longer and so does he
I love it
Kind of a lot

scars are an identity that I cherish
I love the way the roll down my arms
the way they remind me of the times I hurt
climbing a tree
when you said that
sometimes I think
that scars shouldn't beloved
but they show the path that one has been on
you have validation in proof
scars should be loved

i can’t see straight right now
trying my hardest to live without lying too much
you know the drill

i made tea and it smelled like early mornings and carpooling to high school
i put on my old perfume and smelled heart pounding and felt kisses
i wore my sweatshirt and i haven’t felt warmer than i did on the bus in february
i made coffee and heard voices asking for a sip because they are literally falling asleep in first period
i made tea

i’ve made it past another season
i’ve sailed another wave
i’ve seen and can confirm
the rainbow after the storm
i’ve consolidated my feelings
i’ve learned to understand
im still confused
but i’ll get there
in the end
in the end
worth it all

for the first time in
a season
i feel as if i can
feel alright
i am hopefully
more content
than in the past winter

Sick of you
Sick of him
Sick of the way you like him better than me
how is it that
you
care for him
the man
that I care for too
at the same time
I care for you as well
It
   is
      All
           So
               Sick

"I Dare You To Call Rachel A Butthead"
"Won't I Get Into Trouble?"
"Nah"
.
.
.
That summer day was one of that last times I saw you,
my cousin's sister, I was never too close to you
Parents afraid of me ending up like you
you never knew better
I could hear the fighting from next door
I never put two and two together
I should have known,
when you were arrested
and Sentenced
I should have known whenever you got high and told me stories
Of high school
But I didn't think,
when I wrote a letter
when I got the news
you never said it would hurt this bad
I Never Knew You Until You Were Gone

The waves seemed to chase me
I let them take over
I felt defeated
I almost drowned
I stood up in the deep water
I walked to the beach
I stood there in triumph
I saw the waves retreat
I laughed
I said “to think you could get me”
I stood terrified as the tsunami rose
I ran as if I could escape
Finally I stopped
Finally I’ve accepted my fate
I said “I’ll survive”
I thought “it’s just a crush”
It’s just a crush