The beach blows cold
Without your warmth
•
The light of whose smile
Brightens the darkened horizon
•
Sol, your comfort
During turbulent wakes
Rises with you
•
Silent shimmers shining
Early morning waves
Where you sit to bask
In the eyes of your equal
•
You, the Terrarian Sun
Stare back in wonder
As the undefeated ascends
Above the clouds
•
Projecting a carousel
Of shifting shapes
In contrast
•
Each a day in the life
For all the days you lived
•
A horizontal panorama of you
At peace
•
Something so desperately sought
On those white sand shores
•
Now, so far away
•
As all suns must set
•
Yet ever in their passing
Paint the sky
In colorful remembrance
•
Where warm pastels of Rose
Marry soft reds
Into darker cherry
•
Cooling into neon baby blues
And bursting orange hues
•
That slowly start to fade
With your days dying light
•
And you join the stars
Patiently awaiting the dawn
•••
And a warm beach breeze

far past the horizon
is where I wanted to go
The day was ending
and there was still much I did not know.

Without caution,
I planned my trip.
Without distraction,
I was ready to skip.

In twilights arms the memories came back
as all my years put me in a trance.

No one knows the truth, no one knows how I truly feel inside,how completely shattered I am by all of it and I just get to sit in silence. Pretending that I am okay to avoid the questions of why and the fact that I just am tired. Tired. Tired, so Tired. But why? Im 21 why am I so tired? Why does it have to be this way? I feel so disconnected it’s crazy. I don’t believe my life went this way and I have no one to be there for me. I dont sleep, sleep isn’t even the right way to describe what I go through. I’m floating looking at my sad lifeless body toss and turn in the sheets begging for 1 second of rest. Then I wake up, waking up is the worst, someway again I don’t fit. Somehow im not enough today, somehow take photos for you to just look at another, somehow you revert back to your old ways. Do I revert back to mine,I was raised and viewed as some rag, some broom to help clean up. Maybe I revert back to that, I’m so tired of peoples view on me as a parent, i’m sick I need help mental physical emotional, you don’t know me and you try to say that how I feel isn’t a big deal, brush me off like the others. I don’t have anyone, no one. Wow I look at my life as a whole always moving around and never once being able to be in the moment, always taking care of others, I never had a childhood, I barely remember my past,I don’t understand my present, I feel shamed, unworthy, I am so tired. I didnt ask for this, I don’t want to be singled out in my life, I wish I had courage.I wish I had peace.

I feel safer somewhere cold and dark
Like my lonely, ransacked heart
At times it has played the part
Tucked behind a fleshy rampart
Casting a stark silhouette,
Becoming somewhat of a trademark
Can't remember when it lost it's spark
It had to have been sometime, way back,
Before the halfway mark
The memory gets a bit hazy,
Especially when trying to recall the start
What I get to deal with now is,
Just how quickly it all fell apart

©2024

It was sudden,
When we fell in love,
He doesn't know this,
But I fell first.

It was almost surreal,
How fast it happened,
Yet now, a silence descends,
Where once laughter danced.

In his eyes, a shadow,
A distant, wistful gaze,
I saw him fall out of love,
In the soft, fading embrace.

The echoes of our whispers,
Now lost in the breeze,
As memories unravel,
Leaving me to grieve.

I trace the lines of his face,
Searching for what's gone,
But love's fleeting touch,
Now lingers, withdrawn.

I saw him fall out of love with me,
A quiet departure, unseen,
Leaving me to reconcile,
The fragments of what has been.