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Nope Aug 2014
All I wanna do is forget.
Every ******* word you said to me, every person who doesn't give a **** about me, every time you laid your hands on me, everything.
I feel the ***** burning as if runs down my throat.
But it's working.
Why be stuck feeling sad when I can  choose to not feel anything at all?
Nope Aug 2014
I ****** up the nerve endings in my wrist so now every once in a while it feels like my arm is ripping apart, but somehow I still think that it's you trying to touch me.
Nope Aug 2014
.
Between being touched by you
and ripped apart by myself
my body has lost all its worth
ha **** over a thousand cuts in 3 months is a lot but nothing compares to the pain i felt every time you even looked at me
Nope Aug 2014
2am
It's 2 o'clock in the morning and all i can think of
is how it feels to have you lying next to me.
I sleep better when you're here
because every time you touch me i feel like im at home.
Every time you throw your leg across me
and steal all of my covers
i feel like i belong.
I feel like someone loves me
when i wake up in the middle of the night
and you don't yell at me when i open the window
to smoke one more cigarette,
but you roll over and you kiss me on the cheek
and you tell me im cute when my hair is a mess.
I feel like someone loves me when you dismiss
all of my flaws because none of them matter to you.
All you want to do is hold my hand,
and right now all i want to do is hold yours.
Nope Aug 2014
Maybe if i lace my thighs with bandaids
I can trick my brain into thinking that i ripped myself apart
just moments ago
and maybe i'll get the adrenaline rush anyway.
Since all it takes is the sting of a razor blade for me to feel something,
maybe the thought of pain will do the same.
"The mind is everything, what we think we become."
**** selfharm trigger depression suicidalthoughts relapse depression **** abuse
  Aug 2014 Nope
Modern Serenity
I hate to say I don't care
But honestly life is so unfair
I dare not to say a word of more
Because I literally don't care anymore
Thank you hello poetry for selecting this as the daily poem but as well to everybody else! Hope your really enjoyed the poem!:)
Nope Aug 2014
"Don't punish yourself with boys, sweetheart"
She says to me over and over
to try and calm me down
when i called her at 3 in the morning
crying so hard that i couldn't breathe,
only able to mutter "I didn't want to"
through muffled screams
And I thought to myself,
Why would i punish myself with ***?
But now i'm sitting here again
at 3 in the morning
doing things i do not want to do.
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