This update rlly *****

Curse the stars!
For ours were not aligned.

goodbye love.
I guess this is truly it.
hadn’t imagined this day would come,
but here it is.
slamming me in the chest like a car wreck.
Do your best to recover from my addiction,
After all,
You will be the true one to strive from our separation.
Ignore the conflict,
regress the true moments between us,
The ones where we truly only had one desire,
the desire to feel something other than complete isolation.
A life which we were both too used to living
You were there for me,
when I had been broken time after time.
I think that's what did me in.
That,
And the damage I caused to Her.
My first ever loss,
That has overfilled my tank with regret.
When I found you,
I was already broken too far.
Cheated on,
Lied to,
Time
After
Time.
I've been wronged so many times,
It's destroyed everything that was once innocent.
The soul that once was has been tainted for some time now.
After all,
Damaged goods are worth nothing to the merchant.
Ultimately,
I'm sorry for putting this burden on you.
My toxic influence is too much for any women to handle.
My promise was sincere,
I will always be there for you.
But this Is the end.
There's no purpose for me anymore.
I vowed you as my last hope,
I..
Yes,
I will be moving on in another way.
A way that will satisfy us both.

She'll never be mine,
and so the story must go on.

she's lost me.

well not necessarily,

I've lost her,
as usual.
it always tends to happen like this...
intense passion,
for a brief period,
slowly dying out.
like a tree that soaks the nutrient from its surroundings.
growing too fast for its own good,
we withered away without even noticing we never really loved each other.
you were nothing more than a momentary relief,
tricking myself into thinking I could actually fall in love again.
to think that I'm writing this type of poem about you really allows me to understand that I have lost everything with meaning.
first it was her,
she,
that other girl,
and now you.
it's become so typical now.
I always tell myself I'm going to stop.
enough of putting myself in this position,
over and over,
resetting the timer of when I'll be hurt again.
for some reason I was hoping you'd be the one to save me.
but it seems you need some saving of your own.

A feeling of sadness lingers in my chest,
like the ghost that haunts me late at night.
Each night I become less and less like a person, and more like the ghost that visits me.
And sadly I cannot stop what has already been started.
And soon,
I will haunt you too.

-o.b.